Another Day, Another Blogger

About that Duggars reference...I'm pregnant again.

2011-01-04T13:19:00.004-05:00

Seeing as it is now 2011 and my last blog post was written in 2009, I feel the need to catch everyone up on the year 2010 in my house, or I would if I could remember anything about it. No, I haven't developed a drinking problem or been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I just have this thing, where a little bit more of my brain seeps out of my ear every night when I lay down to bed, causing me to be less and less intelligent which each passing day. It's true what they say, you know, about pregnancy killing your brain cells. I think I've mentioned something about that before, but who would know, certainly not me. It's the only explanation I have for my increased stupidity. You see, I'm pregnant again (due in February) and from what I can tell, I am only getting dumber. I know I wasn't always like this, so it has to be someone else's fault, right? I'm not naming any names but I think Mia is to blame.

Don't get me wrong, Mia has been such a blessing and we are beyond thrilled to welcome our second baby girl, Remi Claire, in a little more than a month. I will, however, be the first to admit that along with the joys of parenting have come some unexpected trials. I feel that in a lot of ways I was prepared to be a mother. I had 10+ years of childcare experience under my belt before I got pregnant and 5 years of coursework in Early Childhood Education. However, there are some things I wasn't ready for at all, like the fact that I would never again successfully complete a sentence or be able to poop with the bathroom door closed. I often wonder about whether or not I will turn into a puddle of mush after delivering our second daughter. I'm not kidding. This second pregnancy has taken it's toll on what was/is left of my common sense. For instance, on Christmas morning, Jon and I were on our way to his parents' house and looking for any fast food joint at all that wasn't closed for the holiday and he said "There's got to be something around here that is run by Jews. They would be open!" To which I replied, "Or Catholics, because most of them go to midnight mass on Saturday and won't be at church right now." :::cue blank stare::: In case you're not following my train of thought, which you probably aren't because my response made absolutely NO sense, Catholics celebrate Christmas too, so they wouldn't be at work AND December 25th was on a Saturday this year, not a Sunday. Wow. One can only hope that 2011 brings wisdom or the money for a brain transplant.

From what I gathered from Facebook on New Year's Day, a significant amount of people were happy to bid adieu to 2010. One of my best friends almost died from a blood clot, my cousin's house was flooded after a devastating tragedy in Nashville and several other aquaintences experienced totalled cars, kidney stones, or loss of employment. Thankfully, our little family didn't experience anything like that, but quite honestly, I can't reflect on the good things because my brain is fried. Basically, getting knocked up again is one of the only things I remember about last year. It all flew by so fast.

One thing I have noticed though, is that second pregnancies are drastically different than the first. I'm not necessarily speaking in terms of how it affects your body, but more about how others treat you in comparison to the first time around. I remember when Jon would run a bath and light candles to help me relax, or rub my back at the slightest hint that my body was tired and achey from growing a human. Now, when I actually manage to get a shower, Jon busts in after 5 minutes to remind me that we have to pay for hot water or Mia sits outside pounding on the door and shouting my name like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory until I eventually give up on shaving my legs and come out. And those back rubs? Forget it. I can't get one of those these days without making a deal with the devil.

"Hey, how about a massage?"
"I'll do it if you go get me a chocolate milk shake from UDF."
"Nevermind. I don't want one that bad."

I even tried to teach Mia how to do it, but her little fingers just aren't strong enough to work out those kinks.

I suppose it's normal for the doting and coddling to fade with the anticipation of baby #2. Naturally, there is less time to dedicate to pampering yourself or your spouse when you already have one child totally dependent on you for survival. So how do you manage to be anything more than a robot when you are a parent of two? Seriously, how?! I doubt I'm going to get that brain surgery I've been asking for, so I need to start compiling a list of ways to maintain/regain a sense of self after baby Remi arrives. Do any of you have conversations with other adults that don't involve puke or potty training? How do you do it?

How Do the Duggars Do It? Nevermind. TMI.

2010-01-21T10:20:00.010-05:00

Despite the fact that Mia might be cutting teeth and has been especially whiney, I have been thinking a lot about how I would love more kids. Sure, there are times when I wonder if I could successfully parent more children without leaving one of them at the hair salon, but most of the time I am confident that I could handle 3 or 4. I'm not perfect, but I have a lot of love to give, and that, afterall, is what is most important. The kind of love that stretches to the moon and back, covering every inch of my child's world 100X over must be intended for more than just one baby, right? The tugging on my heart strings seems to be getting stronger with every passing moment, and the recent earthquake in Haiti isn't helping. The thousands of children orphaned as a result of this natural disaster breaks my heart in two. I wish I could adopt all of them without completely losing my sanity. I suppose that pesky thing called cash money would prove to be a problem as well. I'm still trying to figure out how the man on 18 Kids and Counting supports all of those children without literally dropping dead before leaving his driveway. How did they manage to get all the way to 18 anyway? I mean, obviously I'm aware that they still shake it up in the bedroom, but what will it take for good Ol' Jim Bob or Michelle Dugger to call it quits on the baby makin'? Heck, one of my girlfriends has 2 kids under the age of two and she informed me that if she turns up pregnant again any time in the near future, she is promptly giving her husband a home vasectomy and stepping in front of a bus. I cannot even fathom the idea of 18 children. I'm not even sure my family will make it to three or four. Like I said, I would love more children, but Jon may not survive another pregnancy. Of course, adoption is always an option. Do they give children to families who's head of household says things like, "Babe, should I eat this Junior Mint? It fell into a spider web..." I don't know how detailed those adoption applications are these days. Another blog for another time, I suppose. God has His timing. Maybe by the time our second child is conceived or ready to be adopted, Jon will have stopped eating candy off the floor. Until then, I will be dreaming about what God has in store for us. Will Mia be an only child like me, or will she share her life with a little brother, sister, or both?

Top 10 Best Ever Baby Items- Part I

2009-11-24T16:00:00.001-05:00

Now that Mia is nearly 6 months old, I thought I would write an informative blog about which baby products have proven to be the most helpful to our family. In my opinion, half a year is a reasonable amount of time to decide what's working and what isn't, so without further ado, here are my top picks for parents everywhere.
1. Diaper Genie II Elite
I researched diaper disposal systems relentlessly when I was pregnant. I read page after page, review after review about the Diaper Champ, Diaper Genie, Diaper Genie II Elite, etc. With the expectation that my dirty dishes would already be taking a backseat to our new bundle of joy, I didn't want to worry about a wafting poop smell too. After countless hours of web browsing, I discovered that most people praised the Diaper Genie II Elite over other products on the market. Some had never owned a disposal system before and were simply stating their contentment with their current equipment, while others had given their Diaper Champs away so they could make room for a Diaper Genie II Elite instead! Six months in- I can honestly say this product masks the smell of 99% percent of dirty diapers. The only time I really catch a whiff of "stank" is when I'm emptying the old bag. In fact, I don't even think we changed the first bag until two months after Mia was born. It masked the smell so well that I completely forgot about replacing the bag all together. I am so thankful to my in-laws for buying this for us! It has truly been a big help in our house!

2. Graco MetroLite Travel System
Like the disposal systems, Jon and I spent some serious time scoping out strollers. We hit all the stores in the area, sometimes twice, and sifted through a bajillion online offers to find a travel system that was both convenient AND in our price range. After a month or two of hard core window shopping, we finally decided to try the Graco MetroLite Travel System-Delancy. The car seat was light weight in comparison to their competitors, and the stroller collapsed easily with the use of only one hand. At the time of the purchase, we weren't sure what we were having, so the gray and purple was a safe choice in regards to pattern as well. All in all, our decision turned out to be the right one. We have yet to experience any problems. I was even stopped by someone and asked where we bought it because they liked how narrow and small the stroller seemed next to other makes and models. If you're in the market for a travel system, try the Graco MetroLite. You'll be glad you did.
3. Fisher-Price Space Saver High Chair
This is one of those "Why didn't I think of that?!" items that you kick yourself for not inventing first. I've beat myself up over so many popular products on the market today that I should look like I was hit head on by a semi. The Pet Rock, Webkinz, and the Space Saver High Chair are all on my list of things that should have made me a millionaire. Unfortunately for me, Fisher Price got to the Space Saver before I did. The world, however, is most likely better because of it. My version probably would have fallen apart by now due to my daughter's non-stop "Jimmy Leg," but Fisher Price's version hasn't. Not only has it remained intact, it reclines, converts to a booster seat, and includes a dishwasher safe tray! 4. The Squirt- baby food dispensing spoon by Boon
Again with the "Why Didn't I think of that?!" Everyone should have one of these. It's easy, it's trendy, and it cuts down on the amount of crap you have to carry around in the diaper bag.
5. Kirkland Signature brand baby formula, diapers, and wipes.
If you are expecting or have small children, get a Costo membership. You won't regret it. Their Kirkland Signature brand formula is comparable to Enfamil Lipil and Similac Advance and costs $19.79 for 2/9.7 oz cans! If you're bottle feeding, and your child doesn't have a milk allergy, the formula alone is worth joining the Costco club. We tried several different formulas, most of which seemed pretty much the same, so why pay more?

As for the diapers and wipes, we get a box of 216 (size 1-2) diapers for $39.99 and 900 wipes for $27.99. We are so happy with Costco's baby products that we plan to be members for a long time! Just don't forgot your debit card or American Express.

It's Good to Be Back

2009-10-16T14:30:00.015-04:00

It has been entirely too long since I've connected with my blog buddies. I have missed you, dear friends. Did everyone have an eventful Columbus Day? Yeah, me neither.

Nearly two months have passed since my last post and I can hardly believe it. At the risk of sounding like an eighty year old woman, where does the time go?

Looks like we have a lot of catching up to do, assuming you're even the slightest bit interested in what's been happening on my side of the tracks. Perhaps we should talk over lunch, or dinner...or maybe just the internet. So let's get started. What's new, you ask? Well, Mia is now 4 months old and, again with the old folk cliches, growing like a weed. She is learning how to roll, sit up, and eat cereal. She is also talking up a storm when she's happy and expressing her extreme discontent when tired or hungry. Her little "Ooh's" and "Ahh's" are nothing short of adorable. Her tantrums, on the other hand, caught me completely off guard, and can be classified as award winning dramas. I don't know where she gets that from...it's sooo embarrassing. They remind me of the hissy fit I threw recently when it was time for me to return to work after having a week off. Allow me to explain. I took a small "vacation" due to my cousin's wedding, and got the chance to stay home with the babe. Contrary to the emotions surrounding my last blog entry, I felt as if I was doing everything in my power to be the world's greatest mother. Mia and I shared the mornings together, we went grocery shopping and read stories from her baby Bible. We sang "John Jacob JingleHeimerSchmidt" and stretched out on the carpet for tummy time. (Of course, this led me to discover that I have much more tummy for this whole tummy time thing than I would care to admit, but I digress...) I could go on, but instead I will just sum it up by saying that life was everything I had ever dreamed it would be. I was the happiest woman in the world. That is, until Sunday night when I was hours away from returning to work. I was up most of the night in tears thinking about how I didn't want to send Mia back to daycare, and how I wish we would win the lottery so we could pay off my student loans. When our alarm went off at 5:40 (yes, in the a.m., yikes), I immediately started in on how much I was dreading going back to work. Jon concurred with my desire to quit and even sweetened the deal by telling me how Mia needs her mother and it would be okay if I stayed home. :::Sigh::: He really is the BEST.HUSBAND.EVER.

...And so...I quit. I am now a full time SAHM, or "Stay At Home Mom" for those of you who don't get into the abbreviation thing. Don' feel bad. I'm still trying to decipher all the crazy online shorthand the kids are into these days, like "LMAO" and "TTYLS." I am blessed to have the opportunity to be with Mia every day and watch her grow into the awesome woman I know she is destined to become. I am, however, still looking for a little extra income, like a weekend job or a part time nanny position where I can bring Mia along. I have found that families are not as receptive to the idea of a babysitter bringing her baby to work as I had hoped. If anyone knows of a position available, please let me know. I have tons of experience!

Now that I am home, I can concentrate on domesticating myself. Learning how to cook and clean may be looked down upon by the feminists around here, but those cavemen sure do enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of the strides women have made over the years in regards to equal rights, but I've always been a little "old school" when it comes to a woman's role in the home. Personally, I LIKE the 1950's family stereotype. Despite the fact that the "Which TV Mom Are You?" quiz pegged me as Peggy Bundy, I have a strong desire to be the modern day Lucy Ricardo. I've always admired her character's enthusiasm to create the ultimate life for her family, while continually being reminded through silly mishaps that ultimately, she isn't perfect, and that's okay. I may not be the best homemaker, yet, but I'm working on it. The way I see it is, if my significant other is going to bust his butt to support our family, the least I can do is make sure we don't end up on an episode of Hoarders. (FYI: If you're having a hard time getting stuff done around the house, that show will scare you into being productive. Well, after the episode is over that is...You've gotta see the whole thing.) When we spoke last, I had seemingly misplaced my ability to prepare a decent meal. I would like to tell you that things have dramatically changed, that I am on the verge of opening my own restaurant, but the truth is, my culinary skills are just about the same. I've been practicing with the hope that I would not only become a better cook, but that I would feel a surge of "sexy energy" while doing it. (I don't mean anything dirty by the term "sexy energy." I'm simply referring to that rush of adrenaline when you feel so productive and pretty that you could take on the world in a pair of stilettos.) You know what I mean? Of course you do. In fact, I ALMOST had the "sexy energy" channeled the other night when I was finishing dinner. After the putting a casserole in the oven, I went into the bedroom to change into a cuter outfit. I was really feeling the mojo when all of the sudden, a piece of browned ground beef fell out of my shirt onto the floor. Ugh. In three seconds, my sexy energy was gone.

Lesson of the day: 1950's housewife=cool. Beef in your cleavage= not cool.

Like I said, I'm not quite ready for the "Wife of the Year" award, but I'm working on it.

The Ugly Battle of "Too-Busy"

2009-07-28T13:30:00.006-04:00

After 8+ weeks of lounging around the house watching reruns of Wings (great show by the way), I finally returned to work. Being back in this kind of atmosphere has it's pros and cons. I enjoy chatting with my co-workers, playing with the kids and lifting a small sliver of the financial burden off of my husband. Being away from the baby, however, has proven to be quite a challenge. I've worked in childcare for the entirety of my working life, and although I think the environment is good for a child's social skills, I swore up and down I would never send my own kid to daycare for 8 or more hours a day. As of today, my opinion on the matter hasn't changed. Deep down, I loathe the idea of handing my daughter over to someone else at 6:30 in the morning and not returning to pick her up until 9 hours later. I hate how, at the end of the day, I am so exhausted from playing with other peoples' children that I am fighting sleep just to spend 5 more minutes with my own flesh and blood. Even worse than those things, though, is how much I despise myself for irresponsibly racking up thousands of dollars in credit card debt while I was in college. If it wasn't for my impulsive shopping sprees at Target, I would be able to stay at home with my little Mia, and maybe take some night classes so that I can FINALLY finish school. For the amount of money that I owe random department stores around the country, I could have an uber trendy wardrobe or a sassy Mini Cooper. Too bad I wasn't more responsible with my irresponsible spending. :::Sigh:::

The week moves pretty fast now that I work 8-6, but the weekends move even faster, which, in my opinion, is completely unfair. It's nice to have the extra income, but there never seems to be enough time to do everything you want to do, and still spend quality time with your family. I find myself propping Mia's bouncy seat up on the counter (don't tell) so she can watch me load the dishwasher, or laying her on the carpet while I scrape the wallpaper off the wall in the dining room (how exciting). My husband and I now sing "We are the dinosaurs, marching, marching..." while we rinse bottles and fold laundry, just so we can feel more involved in our daughter's ever changing life. We read Stuart Little before bed and cherish bathtime like personal hygiene is going out of style. I'm praying that things will slow down, but I have a sneaky suspicion that the sun will go right on setting just a few short hours after I pull into the driveway. Jon said we need about 14 more hours in each day, and I agree.

I've been brainstorming ways to work without sacrificing time with my family. I picked up my crockpot from my Mom's house so that dinnertime becomes more than just opening a can of ravioli and and popping it in the microwave. I talked to Jon about going on evening walks...maybe this week we'll actually do it...Being lazy is just too much fun sometimes...What else can we do to make the most of our time together? I know others out there are fighting the same ugly battle, and I want to address our "too-busy lifestyle" before it's too late.

For Jon, On His First Father's Day

2009-06-23T10:53:00.012-04:00

Apparently it takes two additional days to complete even the simplest task when you have a new baby. Like, write a Father's Day blog, for example. Interesting how one feels like she has no free time when on maternity leave. Belated or not, I wanted to pay tribute to my husband on his first Father's Day. Here are ten reasons why Jon is the best husband, father and friend.

10. He values communication more than any man I have ever known. If we're having a disagreement or, by some strange event, I'm experiencing a hormonally driven meltdown, he never fails to offer a hug, followed by 3 wonderful words: "Talk to me."

9. You can always count on him to be completely honest. Sometimes brutally so, but honest nonetheless. He doesn't candy coat anything. I may not always like what he has to say, but I can appreciate that he never wants to lie to me. For instance, he told me that our first date would be short just in case it didn't work out. ;) Sucker.

8. He will do most anything for anyone, including rub my back and feet on an almost daily basis.

7. Before Mia was born, he would tell her, through my belly, that he couldn't wait to meet her. Now that she's here, he holds her and tells her that she is "gorgeous, just like her mommy" and it makes me happy.

6. He works 10-20 hours of overtime every week to provide the perfect life for our family.

5. Whenever I fall asleep on the couch, he carries me to bed as not to disturb my beauty rest. I'm not sure if that's because he thinks I need more beauty, more rest, or both, but either way, it's a romantic gesture.

4. He uses a different voice for each character when reading Are You My Mother? to our daughter, and I find it nauseatingly cute. I especially like the part when he says "scary Snort." I'm pretty sure Mia likes it too.

3. I could make Buffalo Chicken Dip for dinner every night and he wouldn't complain. In fact, he would probably prefer it, seeing as I can't seem to cook a damn thing since we got married. Sometime between when I left Tennessee and when we tied the knot, I lost my ability to perform any and all homemaking skills. I can't even make Jell-O without something going horribly awry.

2. He often talks about the things he can't wait to do, like take Mia sledding or go on a cruise together. We have big plans you know, BIG plans! We just have to win the lottery first.

1. He loves Mia and me unconditionally and will never give us a reason to think otherwise.

Happy Father's Day! We Love You.

Facing Pregnancy Fears

2009-06-11T09:38:00.010-04:00

Readers are asking about my previous post regarding pregnancy fears, and requesting some feedback about my experiences. Now that I've brought a child into this world and survived my first full week of motherhood, I feel that I can address my top 10, or at least 5 of the ten, with a little more accuracy. Granted, I'm still waiting around for the really fun stuff, like when my hair and teeth fall out.

A major source of anxiety for pregnant women everywhere is the idea of having a bowel movement while pushing. Being the embodiment of modesty, I exhausted a lot of energy stressing out about letting loose in front of my midwife and nurses. I had talked to friends about my fear and read internet discussions from other moms about the dirty deed, all of whom indicated that once labor begins, it's no longer a concern. "Sure," I thought. "Maybe it wasn't a concern for YOU. Clearly you don't have a reputation to protect..." Well ladies, if you take just one thing with you after reading my blog, let it be this: Don't spend 9 months of your life fretting about farts and poop. There is plenty of that once the baby arrives. Believe me when I say that when the time comes to push that baby out, decency is the last thing on your mind. Now, I'm not saying you won't ask about it later, because I did. However, during the actual pushing part, trust me, you don't care what you do or who sees you do it. You're too busy praying for paralysis or for someone to crack you over the head with a baseball bat so you can focus on something other than the pressure below your waistline. After delivery, there's a chance it still may cross your mind. You might do what I did and ask almost immediately if your worst fear became a reality. Well, after you send your husband to Wendy's for a cheeseburger and a Frosty, that is. Jon, however, won't spill the beans on the issue. Something about how he doesn't want me to write about it. Me? Writing about poop? Who does he think I am? All things considered, I think I like it better not knowing.

There are a few of my fears that I will lump together, as I do not have enough material to dedicate an entire paragraph to hemorrhoids (I know, sometimes I even surprise myself). In a nutshell, I managed to escape the inside out belly button, hemorrhoids, an episiotomy, being too doped up to enjoy my daughter's birth and any and all pregnancy rashes. Not bad. Not bad, indeed. I sidestepped 5, maybe 6, of my 10 biggest concerns. I'll be upfront with you though, and admit that once labor began, two entirely new fears entered my mind. So, in all fairness, I suppose there were actually a total of twelve fears, not ten. For whatever reason, as delivery grew near, the thought of being catheterized and getting an epidural made me increasingly more anxious. I have never been afraid of needles, so I'm not sure what caused so many jitters, but uncertainty hung in the air nonetheless. I even had a lapse of sanity and contemplated having a natural birth so I could kill two birds with one stone and avoid both the catheter AND the epidural. Boy, am I glad that moment passed!

For expectant moms who are feeling uneasy about either of these events: If you are planning on an epidural, don't freak out at the last minute and refuse one because you're overwhelmed with the idea of "uncharted territory." You will be fine. About 60 seconds after getting the epidural, you will laugh at the idea of living without one. They ought to give you one when you first find out you're pregnant. It might cut down on the number of domestic abuse cases...

As for fear #5, I was shocked at how smoothly things moved along. (Forgive me for beginning AND ending this post with potty talk.) In Belly Laughs, Jenny McCarthy writes about waiting almost 13 days before having a BM. I honestly don't know how she lived that long without hitting the bathroom. Obviously she wasn't eating. Ever. The nurses gave me a stool softener the night before I left the hospital, and then another the next morning. Once we were home, I took a few more just to be safe. Word to the wise: If you want to keep your friends, don't take 3 at a time. 1 or 2 will get the job done. 3 is social suicide. Just make sure to take at least 1 a day for the first week or so. It really does make the inevitable just a little more comfortable.

A few favorite pictures

2009-06-07T09:59:00.011-04:00

Senorita PrettyFace. So far, we think she has my husband's lips.

She also has her daddy's feet. :)

Okay, so she's a daddy's girl already.
Picking her nose! At least she got something from me...
Check back for more!

I gave birth and all I got was this lousy t-shirt...

2009-06-06T10:49:00.014-04:00

And an absolutely gorgeous daughter! I am relieved to report that I survived the whole birthing process and lived to tell about it. Would I do it again? Sure, but not anytime soon and most certainly not without an epidural.

On June 3rd at 7:08 p.m., our stubborn little lamb made her entrance. Although she was quite reluctant to give up her cushy throne in my ribcage, I selfishly proclaimed that I just wasn't going to look right on our cruise if, come January, I was 8 months over my expected due date. And so the battle began. As I mentioned in an earlier post, the first item of business during an induction is to place something called Cervidil in the patient's cervix to help it thin out and dilate. Cervidil, for lack of a better description, looks like a mini-tampon. It can take up to 12 hours to do anything at all so most doctors like to administer it at night. That way, after taking a sleeping pill, the patient can sleep through first part of the process with little to no discomfort. Sounds great, assuming the hospital staff doesn't tell her that her husband isn't allowed to spend the night with her. Whaaaaa? "Well, ma'am, this is the only room we have for you right now, and although no one is going to be sleeping in the perfectly decent bed beside you, your husband has to either go home or sleep in the car." Nevermind the fact that you were scheduled for an induction prior to showing up tonight, and this is your first baby, and you're probably scared...It was about this time that I started to freak out. Let's see, I made it an entire 15 minutes before breaking into tears. What a trooper. In a nutshell, the first night at the hospital was a nightmare. Jon slept in our car and I stewed in my bitter discontent until the Ambien they had given me was making the furniture move. To top it off, the Cervidil did absolutely nothing. My cervix was the same at 7 the next morning as it was when we went in, so Jon's Car Camp Out yielded nothing but a sore back and negative feelings toward the facility.

A few hours later however, things were looking up. The midwife gave the go ahead to start me on the Pitocin, which the staff referred to as the "big guns" when it comes to inducing labor. At 10 a.m., they moved us to a significantly nicer room, in which my husband was allowed to stay, and hooked me up to the drip. It was about this time that they informed me that there would be no more eating until the baby was delivered, and a sense of panic set in like I was going down with the Titanic. "I know everyone is different," I said, "but when would you say she might decide to come out?" "I'd say we're looking at about 4 o'clock in the morning." Holy Mother of Mercy. I can't wait that long before I eat something! I'm going to starve to death. I'm starving now! (I promise you people- EVERY commercial from then on was for food. KFC, Long John Silvers, Papa Johns Pizza. You name it, they advertised it and I was miserable.) At 2 o'clock, they checked me only to discover that I was still only dilated to 2 cm. Are you kidding? I'm really starting to feel these contractions! This is what 2 cm feels like? I'm never going to make it! Death is surely at my door! I had heard that most midwives don't even offer an epidural until 4-5 cm, and I was only at 2 and barely able to speak. I started to cry. To my surprise, the skies opened up and heard the sweet singing of angels. It was the midwives and they were saying "Early epidural." It was glorious.

From 3 o'clock on I was cruisin'. I couldn't feel my legs and I couldn't have been happier about it. My back no longer felt like tiny bakers were twisting my muscles into bear claws and I didn't feel as if I was trying to push jagged pieces of glass out of my behind. (I know that's terribly unlady-like, but labor will do that to you.) Evidently, the epidural agreed with me, because by 5 o'clock I was dilated to 10 and ready to go.

I started pushing around 6:20 p.m. and Mia was born at 7:08. Not too bad for a first timer, I guess. Thank goodness she came when she did, because I was completely wiped out after 30+ minutes of pushing. The crazy part is, Mia turned out to be 8 lbs even, and over 20 inches long! Not the petite little princess we were expecting, but a million times more beautiful than we could have imagined. Here are a few pictures before I have to get going:

Who Says I'm Not Stimulating the Economy?

2009-06-01T12:10:00.010-04:00

This is just the sort of thing that would make my husband violently ill, but here goes:
I don't know if this qualifies as nesting, but today I decided to go through my make-up bags and throw out all the products that were either expired, empty, or not currently being used. (Clearly I am running out of activities.) Rather than feeling accomplished, I wound up feeling like a complete jackass. I have no idea how I acquired so much crap! I'm not talking "years of sentimental crap" either. I filled a trash can with materialistic, beauty pageant kind of crap. (Granted, the trash can was a bathroom size bin and not an industrial one, but even so, I find the fact that I replenished it totally ridiculous.) I realize that every spoiled American probably experiences this feeling at one time or another, but I didn't even start wearing make-up until my second year of college, and even then, it was only mascara. Where did this obsession with lip gloss, eye shadow and mascara come from, and why, with such an extensive collection, do I walk around looking like a haggard old hobo nearly every day?!

My college roommates know of my feelings towards mascara. Long eyelashes run in my family, and I must admit, I've really enjoyed playing them up over the last couple of years. I even went as far as to buy a battery powered tube once that would curl AND coat at the same time. Way overrated, by the way. It's pathetic, really. Some could call it a daily battle not to buy every new product on the market.

I have always taken pride in the fact that I didn't suffer from an addiction. With alcoholism running rampant in my family, I kept a safe distance from the party scene, as well as refused any and all cigarettes or drugs. Sure, I drink a lot of Mountain Dew, but that's not so bad in comparison to everything else, right? Wrong. Little did I know, I suffer from not one, but TWO addictions! The cleaning of my bathroom revealed a lot more than just the fact that I'm a horrible housewife. I'm an eye make-up addict! Ahh! I uncovered 21 tubes of mascara during my mission, and at an average of $8.00 a pop, I've spent nearly $200.00 on mascara alone over the last two years! GROSS! Look at this:

I could be buying a new computer with the money I've shelled out to CoverGirl, Maybelline, and Rimmel. Ugh! As my husband says, "It's time to buckle down."

The Not So Pretty Side of Pregnancy

2009-05-28T15:07:00.012-04:00

This is what 41 weeks look like:I'm on the verge of losing what little bit of sanity I have left after 10 months of pregnancy. I'm trying to keep my mind occupied, but it's hard not to focus on an overdue baby when I'm too uncomfortable to do anything else. I've stopped working because my back hurts too badly to get up and down off the floor with 12 two year olds. Plus, I have this visual of my water breaking in the classroom and all the kids running over and splashing around in it like they do with puddles after it rains. Jon keeps telling me that the kids wouldn't do that even if there was enough fluid on the floor. I keep reminding him that he doesn't work with toddlers and that they play in any and all liquid within reach.

I've been trying to keep up on the dishes, seeing as we'll be in the hospital for 48 hours once I finally go into labor. I don't want dirty pots and pans sitting in the sink while we're gone, attracting roaches and the like. I've organized my scrapbook stuff, finished the first 6 pages or so of Mia's "scrapblog," and watched enough Dog the Bounty Hunter to last me 'til next spring. I don't want to do anything too strenuous, but I've got a serious case of cabin fever. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to keep myself busy?

40+ Weeks and Fed-Up

2009-05-27T17:12:00.012-04:00

Well, most of you know that Mia was due last Friday (the 22nd). Since I have yet to post pictures of her beautiful face, one might conclude that she is still inhabiting my uncomfortably large abdomen with no physical signs of departure. That conclusion would be correct. On Tuesday, I was almost 75% effaced and barely a centimeter dilated. The midwife mentioned that they would most likely sweep my membranes, but when I arrived at my appointment, my cervix was too closed and too far behind the baby's head to follow through. So encouraging...

With no signs of imminent labor, my midwife and I discussed induction. Assuming Miss Mia refuses to come out on her own, the eviction date is set for next Wednesday. Still doesn't seem soon enough, but it will have to do. This Friday, I will return to the office for a non-stress test. If everything looks okay, Jon and I will arrive at the hospital on Tuesday night so they can start me on some sort of chemical that thins out the cervix. The thinning process takes approximately 12 hours, after which the real fun will begin. Sometime Wednesday morning, I'll be given Pitocin, aaaaand sometime after that, Mia Shae will join the world.

I have heard that an induction can mean a more painful labor, but I'm already planning on an epidural (and anything else they might want to throw in) so I really don't care. I'm just anxious to hold our little girl and feel less like a beached whale. I'm 40 weeks pregnant and fed-up! I've had contractions every day for the last week and a half, but they never intensify or get closer together. We walked a few miles, still nothing! I even made big plans this weekend in hopes that Mia would become jealous and foil them! No dice!

Everyone keeps telling me "I can promise you one thing-you won't be pregnant forever." Well, as helpful as that is, it's not. I'm tired. I'm tired of having to sleep with one hundred pillows, popping Tums like candy, not being able to take a bath without calling in the Armed Forces to help me out...40 weeks is enough! I'm going to start charging Mia rent. After all, her dad would like that.

Things You Should Know

2009-05-05T22:24:00.010-04:00

A letter to my daughter-

Dear Mia,

Over the last nine months in the womb, you have learned so many things! Although you're still developing, you are already recognizing certain sounds, sucking your thumb and, judging by all the hiccups, practicing your breathing. (F.Y.I.- your father finds your hiccups adorable and wishes to be informed each and every time you have them. I don't know how well you can hear us in there, but he states on a fairly frequent basis how proud he is of you for trying to breathe like a big girl.) I am sure you are knowledgeable of much more, but it will most likely be a few weeks before you can show us all the special talents you have acquired on "the inside." Prior to entering into the world however, there are a few things you should know about your father and me. Some good, some bad, but all of them are true.

1. I'm not the type of mother who feels that spanking promotes violence. I firmly believe that it encourages obedience, and should you choose to test me, I will firmly plant a reminder on your backside.

2. It has come to my attention over the last three months that I am incapable of making a decent pitcher of Kool-aid. You don't know what that is yet, but it's a delicious sugary beverage which you will undoubtedly enjoy, assuming your father makes it. For reasons I will never understand, my powder to water ratios are ALWAYS way off, resulting in a gallon of glorified sugar water. I could add twice as much sugar as the directions recommend and it still tastes awful. I'm sorry in advance if we run out of Kool-aid when Daddy is at work. There is nothing I can do, except lose some of your respect. Seriously. It's that bad.

3. Your father says you have three days to find a job after your birth. (Totally realistic, right?) Times are tough these days and people are having difficulty holding positions, so you might want to start brainstorming. I'm not an advocate for lying, but we might have to pad your resume a little. How does Harvard Law sound?

There is so much more to tell, but with your due date fast approaching, my thoughts are fleeting.

"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head." I can't wait to see you.

Love,

A+ Products for Pregos and More

2009-05-02T08:27:00.027-04:00

I wanted to take a minute to plug a couple of products here at Another Day, Another Blogger. Some items I have personal experience with, and others I've just heard about by working in a daycare center.

1. When I was six months pregnant, my OB mentioned that in addition to an increase of mucus, expectant moms may also experience an abundance of dental problems. Awesome. Like we don't have enough going on with our bodies, right? (As I stated in a previous post, the old wives tale that talks about "a tooth for every child" is a myth, but that doesn't automatically mean you're exempt from bleeding gums or excess plaque.) Some of these oral obstacles include gingivitis and cavities. (Oh, joy. So you're saying even if I join a gym and lose that 30+ pounds post-pregnancy, it won't matter because I'll still be missing teeth? Sweet. Or should I say Shweet?) To help prevent putting those two front teeth on your Christmas list, try these cute (and convenient) little things from Colgate-

My mom introduced me to the Wisp, and I found it to be extremely handy. They work infinitely better than the on-the-go toothbrush marketed a few years ago that was made from textured paper and slipped over your index finger. Definitely the best "out and about" dental product to date, according to me, who isn't a dentist- nor am I friends with one. Clearly a very reliable source...

2. Recently, I've had the "pleasure" of watching my fingers and toes swell up like Vienna Sausages. I awoke one morning about 2 weeks ago to find that my feet no longer fit into my shoes. Obviously, I needed a quick and inexpensive solution- and pronto. Since I'm still working and need close-toed shoes for the daycare, my co-workers suggested I buy a pair of Crocs in a size 7 (I wear a 6).

This has proven to be some of the best advice I've received over the last 9 months. Crocs slip on and off with ease, provide comfort and support to swollen feet, and are made from a material that is practically odor-resistant! Jackpot! (This is a huge perk for people like me, just ask my husband.)

3. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
Although the "nesting instinct" has yet to kick in, the Swine Flu epidemic has forced my co-workers and me to clean more than normal. We received a shipment of Magic Erasers and other cleaning products at the daycare and I am having a field day scrubbing crayon off the walls and bleaching down table tops. (I seem to be getting all of the odd cravings at the end of my pregnancy, as opposed to the beginning. For instance, I can't seem to get enough of the smell of bleach lately! Not that I'm sniffing bottles of chemicals or anything, but I truly look forward to spraying the bottle of bleach water at the end of my work day. Strange, I know.) Anyway, the Magic Erasers work wonders on just about anything and, despite my initial skepticism, put the average sponge to shame. Hopefully it will be a while before Mia starts coloring on things, but for those of you who have toddlers or maybe just a messy spouse, you need one these!

4. Mabel's Labels- The latest trend in labeling-
I haven't purchased these yet, so I can't speak from personal experience, but I've been told by many families at work that Mabel's Labels are the way to go when it comes to personalizing your child's stuff. For less than $20, you can order 80 sticky labels with your child's name or initials. If you visit the website, www.mabel.ca, you can create a variety of labels in an assortment of different colors. You can even add a fun little icon like a puppy or a soccer ball if you so choose. Unlike traditional labels, Mabel's Labels are made to withstand the dishwasher AND microwave. (Even Sharpie's rub off of Glad containers and sippy cups after one wash.) If you plan on putting your little one in daycare, or have a child already attending a childcare center or preschool, I recommend checking out the website. They are very popular right now, and for good reason.

Got more to add to this blog? Send me a message and I'll add it to the list.

Nursery Renovations and the Mighty Moving Belly

2009-04-21T17:28:00.014-04:00

Quick photo post of the nursery progress and my giant belly at 35 weeks. We even caught some movement on camera, which is both weird and incredible.

Mia's room is now painted and furnished. I still have to clean and wash all of her bedding, but for the most part, it's complete.

The power tools add a nice feminine touch, don't you think?

The winning wall quote is Mark Twain's "Explore.Dream.Discover." I used my new Cricut to cut letters and heart embellishments from a tan colored vinyl, which I found at Michael's craft store. (If you are an avid fan of scrapbooking and other projects, I highly suggest a Cricut machine. Although it is rather expensive, a Cricut is one of the coolest tools around for the crafty wafty population.)

Officially 35 weeks and gigantic.

It's aliiiiiive!!!

The Hospital Bag-What to Pack

2009-04-21T14:26:00.007-04:00

For the last three weeks, Jon has been nagging me to pack my overnight bag for our visit to the hospital. In typical Emily fashion, I've put off gathering up belongings and doing extra (or any) laundry until...well...today. When is it exactly that the "nesting" instinct kicks in?

After browsing websites like www.babycenter.com, I've created my own little check list of what we should (or should not) tote around with us in preparation for "D-Day." Here is a brief summary of the contents so far. Please, please, PLEASE message me if I'm missing something important.

NEED-
-1 pair of roomy PJ pants
-1 long night shirt
-1 robe
-1 tight sports bra (to help prevent my milk from coming in)
-extra large and absorbent maxi pads (I read somewhere that those are better than the ones they give you at the hospital? Not sure how true that is, but I bought some anyway.)
-socks/underwear
-self-cleansing wipes (for freshening up, if that's at all possible after long hours of labor)
-toothbrush/toothpaste
-digital camera

WANT-
-Chapstick/limited make-up for later
-Shampoo (Do I need this or will they provide it? I dont know...)
-Snacks
-Laptop? (This one was mentioned on every website. Should I really bring it along or is it pointless?)

Stuff for Jon-
-Change of clothes
-toothbrush
-???

Okay friends, this is when you step in and give advice. What did you take to the hospital? What did you find you didn't really need once you arrived?

I Will Be a Better Parent. I Will Be a Better Parent...

2009-04-16T20:23:00.011-04:00

As Mia's due date approaches, I've been thinking more about our childcare options and how I will feel about leaving my daughter in the care and company of others. I've worked with children for most of my life and have witnessed two types of caregivers-
A. Those who have a natural ability to relate to children and generally enjoy their jobs-
AND
B.-Those who lack a nurturing instinct entirely but lack the freedom or motivation to explore another career.
For example, my former roommate shared a story with me not too long ago about a co-worker who once questioned why there wasn't cable in the classrooms at the center where they worked. "I mean, what are the teachers supposed to do all day?" she asked. Yikes. Maybe I'm acting out of turn to assume I'm type A, but I must be more nurturing than not, right? I must. I majored in Early Childhood Education... So there was a time when I forgot to give a child his four o'clock bottle...Kids cry when they're hungry, right?

Just as there are two types of caregivers, I believe there are two types of parents as well.
A. Those who have some sense of reality and recognize that most daycare employees are human, not undercover super heros-
AND
B. Those who are completely oblivious to the fact that there are other children attending said center along with their "little prince" or "princess."
Again, one can only hope to fall under the "A" category. With ten years of childcare and five years of college coursework under my belt, I have compiled a list of things/lessons/rules which will inevitably help me (and possibly others) to be a better parent.

1. If I want my child to do anything other than reside in a plastic bubble, I will not bring him/her to daycare in fancy schmancy church clothes.

2. I will not send my child to school with lunch items such as tomato soup, spaghetti, or tuna noodle casserole if they do not know how to use utensils. (This, of course, is not applicable if we enter into yet another "Great Depression" and I have no alternative.)

3. I acknowledge that most centers close at 6 o'clock and if I am late, I will most likely have to pay a fine. Rather than acting out in an immature manner and paying said fine in all pennies, I should thank the staff for not throwing my child out on the street when I, his/her primary guardian, failed to show up on time.

4. I recognize that it is possible, and probable, that my child may stray from his/her usual "angelic" disposition. He/she might even bite, hit, scream, scratch or lie to my/your face. It happens to the best of us.

5. I will not flip my lid if "Little Jr." did not receive a diaper change every 30 minutes when there are 13 other children in his class who also have working parts which, believe it or not, cause them to poop and/or pee as well.

6. Despite the fact that I am paying a fair amount of money for quality childcare, the director, who will undoubtedly listen to my request, may not be able to change all doorknobs in the building to accommodate my unruly two year old who likes to swing open doors and run down the hallway during a tantrum.

(I have a feeling this blog will be updated quite frequently, thus, I shall leave you hanging at number 6...Feel free to add your little life lessons, especially you, Amanda.)

"Moderate Loser to Give Birth"

2009-04-01T19:35:00.010-04:00

Well, its been a while since I've posted anything of substance. My last few entries felt rushed and impersonal (so much so that I deleted a few) and I'm finally ready to churn out something with a little more personality. In the past month, I've started a new job, married the love of my life and battled a killer kidney/upper respiratory infection. (Note: If you are pregnant and have a urinary tract infection, make sure to harass your doctor as much as possible for medication. If left untreated, a UTI can develop into something more serious, like a kidney infection- causing a fever, abdominal pain and other complications during pregnancy. Not fun. Also- if you're suffering from a cough and allergic to codeine, I am sorry to report that your only options are Robitussin and lots of fluids.)

For the record, I have thoroughly enjoyed working full time again. (Believe me, I am equally as surprised to hear myself utter those words.) I'm eight months pregnant, working 8 hour shifts at yet another daycare center and, oddly enough, feeling more comfortable than I did a few months ago. Maybe it's the security of collecting another steady paycheck, or perhaps it's the sense of accomplishment I feel knowing that I was at least semi-productive for more than an hour out of the day. Whatever it is, I like it. I feel less like a sloth and more like a successful wife and mother. Although, there are still plenty of instances when I would choose to be a sloth if I didn't owe Target an arm and a leg.

Speaking of being a successful mother, I seem to be doing a decent job baking our baby. Jon and I had our monthly ultrasound this morning, and want to relay (to those of you who care) that Mia is now a whopping 3 lbs 11 oz and growing a full head of hair! (Jon was hoping she would be a cue-ball when she was born so he could embarrass her in the future, but alas, her peach fuzz was visible on the screen and will also be making an appearance on this blog ASAP.) I'm actually quite surprised that she has any hair at all, seeing as my mom had to scotch-tape a bow to my head for my first 12 months of life. I'm sure there are rules banning that sort of thing now, along with the "child leash" and other classic elements of my childhood. Sigh. Too bad. I had a leash AND I was spanked, and I turned out normal. (Okay, so "normal" is debatable. Who wants to be normal anyway?)

This past weekend was my baby shower, and I must say, my former roommates did an excellent job of playing MC. The food was good, the company was better, and the gifts were...okay, you forced it out of me-THE BEST! Mia will be dressed to the nines until she's at least 6 months old, while her mother will be sporting her Sunday's best sweats and threadbare tee. It's too bad I didn't start a tradition prior to this pregnancy where people bring expectant mothers flattering clothing for their post-delivery bodies. That really would have been the icing on the cake, don't you think? Oh well. Guess you better get working on my "What Not to Wear" campaign. I truly think I would be a-okay with someone signing me up for that show. The only concern I have is someone secretly videotaping me while I pick my nose or scratch my butt or something. (Certainly other people on that show have been caught doing something similar...) While one of you is signing me up for self-help reality gigs, can you look into pitching the idea of a show called "Moderate Loser?" I'm a big fan of the "Biggest Loser," and I feel strongly that I could lose a considerable amount of weight if I were shipped off to a remote location where the closest 20 oz Mountain Dew was a three hour hike into town. However, I'm not quite sure I'm ready to be the "Biggest Loser." Being deemed a "Moderate Loser" would be sufficient enough.

Since I mentioned my beverage of choice for the last 10 years (the Dewski), I should probably tell you that I was recently repulsed by the stuff for about three weeks straight. I never thought the day would come, but it did. Fortunately, the aversion didn't stick and I'm back to my old self again. Well, sort of...

Inspirational Quotes - More Decorating Ideas

2009-03-11T17:54:00.012-04:00

Trying to decide on a quote for the wall in Mia's room. Some of these are long, but can be amended to fit the space. Feel free to leave suggestions.
Dreams-

"Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

"To unpathed waters and undreamed shores..." -Shakespeare

"I have spread my dreams beneath your feet..." -W.B. Yeats

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams." -Henry David Thoreau

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -E. Roosevelt

"You're never too old to dream a new dream." -C.S. Lewis

"There is nothing like a dream to create the future." -Victor Hugo

Imagination-

"The world is but a canvas for the imagination." -Henry David Thoreau

"...Imagination will take you anywhere." -Albert Einstein

"Imagination rules the world." -Napoleon Bonaparte

Bible verses-

"My soul finds rest in God alone." -Psalm 62:1

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord." -Jeremiah 29:11

"...For the Lord your God is with you, wherever you go." -Joshua 1:6,9

Randoms-
"Make each day your masterpiece." -John Wooden

Anne Boleyn Knew What She Was Doing

2009-03-06T14:59:00.010-05:00

Thursday morning, as I was finishing my daily bowl of Kashi Mighty Bites (go get them now if you haven't tried them), I remembered that I had a gestational diabetes test in less than 30 minutes. Oops! Since you have to drink a super sugary liquid an hour before (it tastes similar to a melted Jolly Rancher), and fast during the half hour leading up the test, I was, to say the least, screwed. Frantic, I called the doctor and explained that my pregnancy amnesia had once again caused me to forget about my appointment, and asked if there was another opening later in the day so that I wouldn't have to delay my test any further. (Gestational Diabetes testing is most often done during the 28th week of pregnancy.) With luck, they were able to slip me in at three o'clock and I was free to breathe a sigh of relief.

Immediately after hanging up the phone, I started chugging glasses of water like some sort of drug addict, trying to flush out the 12 oz. can of Mountain Dew I had just polished off at 8 a.m. At my last visit, the nurse had warned me to stay away from the sugar on the day of my blood test so as not to mess up the results. Right...she obviously doesn't know me. Stay away from the sugar? Like, when you say sugar, do you mean most caffeinated drinks, Cadbury Cream Eggs (because those are everywhere right now) and heaping bowls of cereal? Oh sure. No problem. I'm a salad kinda girl...

Next thing you know, it's 2:45 and I'm strutting into the doctor's office (okay, waddling, whatever), my head held high as if I am about to show the world of obstetrics the best gestational diabetes test in the history of the pregnant population. (Someone knock me down a peg, will you?) The receptionist, who must have seen right through my confident exterior, said "Good! You're early! The RN would like to talk to you about the labor process before we take your blood." "Sweet," I thought innocently. "I can throw a few of my pregnancy fears at her and see what sort of comfort she can provide." So we're sitting there, and she's running down her list of topics, informing me about false labor and yadda, yadda, yadda. Suddenly, she drops the dreaded "E" bomb. "You do know what an episiotomy is, right?" (GULP.) "Ah, yes. I wanted to talk to you about that. I was wondering, from your experience in this field, if you felt that tearing is better than an episiotomy, assuming there aren't any complications. I've heard that sometimes it can be better to just let it tear because then the cut isn't as deep and it will heal faster..." "Well," she says "I've seen some pretty blown out vaginas..." HOLD IT, SISTER! Did you, a registered nurse, just use the term "blown out vagina?" Ahhh! This is when I started praying. "Dear Lord, I know I'm a sinner. I'm sorry for stealing buttons from the fabric store when I was five...and for telling my mom that the kids at school called me 'Disgusting Emily' because I didn't have enough snacks in my lunch...and..." Needless to say, my fears were not laid to rest after my conversation with the RN. If anything, my idea of an episiotomy has now grown from a simple painful wound to the equivalent of a beheading. Maybe Anne Boleyn preferred death to the idea of producing yet another child for King Henry VIII.

As you can imagine, I was quick to give my blood and get the hell out of there...Oh, and I cracked open a cold one (Mountain Dew, of course) as soon as I walked in the door. It was glorious.

Ultrasound Updates and a Shotgun Weddin'

2009-03-03T19:47:00.005-05:00

March 3, 2009 was a busy day in the world of the Rosenfouts. We had an ultrasound this morning and a wedding this afternoon! Whew!

For those of you who are interested, today's appointment was just a follow-up to check Mia's growth, again. Thankfully, she seems to be developing right on schedule, save the three long bones mentioned in my previous blogs. The arm and leg bones are predictably two weeks behind, but the doctors maintain that she is just short, and not suffering from achondroplasia, or dwarfism. We are also happy to report that Mia is now in the 35th percentile, whatever that means, and weighing in at 2 lbs 5 oz. With every appointment, she reveals more and more of her personality, specifically her stubbornness, which I find both exciting and horrifying! Judging by the reactions of our technicians, past and present, Mia is uber active and quite the rebellious little stinkpot. Despite her undeniable cuteness, she almost always decides to cause a bit of drama in the hospital. For instance, today, Jon and I had scheduled our ultrasound for 9:30 a.m. and our visit to the courthouse for 1. I figured a few hours in between would be enough time to get from one place to another without causing significant stress. After all, ultrasounds are only 30 minutes, right? It is my belief that Mia knew exactly what was going on today because as the tech checked to see if the umbilical cord was in the right place, she swung her leg over top of it making it look as if it was positioned in an unusually low spot. (I'm not sure why they are just now checking to see if her life line is attached properly, but they're the ones with the degree...) This, of course, caused the technician to page the doctor, who we waited on...and waited on...and waited on some more. Understandably so, I was beginning to get a bit nervous about missing my own wedding and started lecturing my unborn baby about how she better shape up in time to make it to the courthouse or else she was going to have a different last name on her school papers. Cruel maybe, but it worked. When the doctor came in and squirted more gel on my already stickified belly region, the umbilical cord was magically back where it belongs and we were free to go. I'm glad to see my threats as a parent are already holding some weight. Here are a few pictures from her latest photo shoot-

Playing the maracas- I don't know how she got those in there, but I'm glad she's entertained.

Chubby baby fingers-Love 'em!

Mia with a dandelion- How is she smuggling all this stuff inside?

Evidently she has very long and narrow feet. :)

As for the nuptials, we are now officially husband and wife and beginning our married life together! I moved in yesterday afternoon and we spent our first night as newlyweds watching WWII documentaries and eating macaroni and cheese. I really went overboard on dinner, didn't I? I fell into a coma at about 9:30, solidifying the fact that I am, indeed, an 80 year old woman trapped in a 24 year old body. I can't even stay awake on my freaking wedding night. Wow...Fortunately, my husband (grin) was understanding and didn't harass me about being the lamest woman ever to exist. Instead, he reassured me that I was his favorite wife (you know, out of all six of them) and that he feels very blessed to have married me. (He can be really sweet when he wants to be...)

Here's a question for my married readers-how the heck do you sleep when you're used to sleeping alone?! Jon and I had what we consider to be the worst night of sleep EVER because neither of us is used to sharing a bed with someone. Does this get better? Please say yes. Then again, I suppose it really doesn't matter since sleep will be a foreign concept come May...

Napoleon Bonaparte and a breakfast/dinner delicacy.

2009-02-13T16:54:00.046-05:00

“The French complain of everything, and always.”
-Napoleon Bonaparte

Clearly, with a name like Rosenfeldt, I'm not French. (Non? Je suis choque!) After last night however, it is my belief that merely eating something associated with the French, like, say, French toast, can cause even the most mild mannered individual (comme moi) to throw a foreign-like fit in the middle of Perkins.

It has been brought to my attention that most of my tantrums involve some sort of sustenance. Interesting observation. Let's review the evidence, aka, past blog entries that involve my mood swings and/or arguments with Jon:

-Jon's Breathing
-Deli Meat (X)
-Lasagna and Cheese sticks(X)
-And as of last night, French toast(X)

Now, I'm not a math person, but 3 out of the 4 blogs are food related. Those statistics speak pretty loudly about my priorities, and that, my friends, is depressing. Everyone encourages pregnant woman to be fat and happy. "Stuff your face! It's the only time you can eat like a pig and still keep your dignity." What if you're fat, but not always happy, making hormonal mountains out of mole hills entirely too often? What then? Do people still respect you? My guess is no, especially if you practically pistol whip your baby's daddy in public for eating a bite of your dinner. Perhaps Napoleon didn't actually mind being exiled to Elba if it meant he was miles away from impregnated madams of French descent? Hmm...Either way, c'est vrai. I laid him out for eating 1 of 5 slices while I was in the bathroom (him being Jon, not Napoleon).

"Well it's a good thing I came back when I did, I wasn't finished yet."

"Who's paying for this dinner? I can't eat your leftovers if I'm still hungry?"

"They aren't leftovers! I wasn't done! I had to pee!" (throws down fork, leaving three bites of top-notch toast swimming in syrup just to be a gigantic thorn in his backside.)

"You said 5 slices was too many! I thought you weren't going to eat it all..."

"Don't take me out to dinner anymore if I can't eat my own damn food!"

Oh.my.gosh. Not only does pregnancy change your body, mood and life in general, it totally changes your heritage! Holy crap! Here's another math lesson. Pay attention. There will be a test later.

hormones + 5 pieces of French toast = deliciousness

hormones + 4 pieces of French toast = death of German ancestry, and any fellow diners who happen to be within arm's reach.

Muffin Top to Baby Pop

2009-02-06T00:02:00.019-05:00

...And so it would seem that the belly has finally "popped." (NOT the belly button, but the actual belly itself.) Despite the fact that I have already found my protruding middle region to be somewhat inconvenient, I am praising God that our baby is growing and that you can no longer decipher the "Dew gut" spilling over my jeans. I think the kids are calling it a "muffin top" these days? (Just between you and me, I don't find a pastry reference insulting. Rather than evoking a negative response, I immediately think of Otis Spunkmeyer and his heavenly double chocolate chip muffin. Who could possibly feel bad after one of those? Not me, that's for damn sure.)

The first picture is from 24 weeks and the second was taken on my first day of week 25. I am wearing the same pajamas in both, so the recent growth seems even more obvious!

"I can't believe she's only a pound. Your stomach is HUGE." -My super sensitive fiance, may he rest in peace. (Just kidding, dear.)

Insomnia Strikes the Unsuspecting

2009-02-05T13:41:00.015-05:00

This morning, Jon and I had our follow-up ultrasound to measure Mia's growth. As I mentioned in a previous entry, her femur and a few other bones were measuring two weeks behind, and the doctors wanted us to come back in a month to check her progress. After several stressful weeks, we can finally say that our little girl is working extra hard to be healthy! Since our last appointment, her leg bones have grown 3 millimeters each, which I'm guessing is quite an accomplishment for a fetus. ;) She has also exceeded one whole pound (1lb 5 oz to be exact) and falls into the 30th percentile. (I am told they prefer other babies her age to be above 10%, so she is forging ahead with major umph!) Doctors are confident that the three long bones (still two weeks behind) can be attributed to short stature. This means that Mia will most likely take after me, rather than Jon, in regards to her build. However, just as a precaution, we have another ultrasound scheduled in four weeks to be sure she's still making headway. I will upload our latest ultrasound pictures as soon as humanly possible. :)

In other news, I think it's safe to say I've have graduated to that stage of pregnancy when lack of sleep becomes the norm. I have always been the type who slips into a coma within five minutes of my head hitting the pillow, sleeping soundly through the night with no trouble at all. Knowing full well that in a few short months I will have to get up every two hours to feed our daughter, I was hoping to cram in all the sleep I could handle now! Yet, it would seem that no matter how tired I am, I can't seem to make it past 4:30 a.m. I can't decide if my body is preparing me for motherhood or just playing some cruel joke. Sleep while you still can, right? Wrong! Apparently that's not how it works! I imagine it's only going to get worse. Any suggestions? I will tell you that I am currently experiencing HORRIBLE heartburn, and wondering if there is an easier way to transition from one very flat pillow, to 3 or 4 stacked on top of each other. I feel like the princess from The Princess and the Pea, only there are no peas involved, and that is, in my opinion, rather unfortunate. (Lauren is familiar with my infatuation with peas. I can eat them by the spoonful, right out of the can. It makes her nauseous.)

Other than our appointment and my recent sleep habits, I have nothing new to report. Maybe something exciting will surface tomorrow! Hope you are enjoying your snow days!

Psycho Gives Silent Treatment Over Cheese Sticks

2009-02-03T14:37:00.009-05:00

What a ridiculous headline! Who is this psycho and why would she zip her lip over breaded mozzarella? (looks around room and realizes she is alone...) Oh, right...that psycho is me...(hangs head in shame).

I regret to inform you that I am the demon who gave her fiance the silent treatment after he disagreed that cheese sticks are an appropriate side item for lasagna.

Jon: I'm sorry, but cheese sticks and lasagna do NOT go together. I'm not saying I wouldn't eat them at the same time, but they don't go together.

Me: Why wouldn't they? They both have marinara sauce!

Jon: Olive Garden would not give you a side order of cheese sticks with your lasagna.

Me: Olive Garden would give me whatever I wanted if I ordered it.

Jon (laughing hysterically): Just because they both have marinara sauce does not mean they automatically make a good meal. Cheese sticks go with an appetizer platter.

Me: Who's the moron who decided that cheese sticks and potato skins are appropriate together?! At some point, someone was eating an appetizer platter and someone else said "Those things don't go together at all." (genuinely frustrated) Ugh! Nevermind! I'm not going to finish my story.

Jon (still laughing): Aw, babe, come on! You can't leave me hangin'. I've gotta know...

Me: Nope. You will never know the end of the cheese stick story. Don't talk to me.

(FYI: I am currently cracking up thinking about how I have most definitely lost my mind. If there was ever crystal clear evidence of my insanity, this is it. Our parents weren't kidding when they said they used to be normal. Pregnancy is the beginning of the end. Just kidding.)

Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself...and hemorroids, hair loss, rashes...

2009-02-02T20:34:00.018-05:00

10 of my pregnancy fears, in no particular order-

1. Pooping on the table. A lot. (Something tells me I've mentioned this before...)

2. The inside out belly button. (I have read that if this happens, your belly button goes back in shortly after delivery, but still maintains a "lived in" appearance. Despite the fact that cleaning the lint would be loads easier, this is not something I wish to experience. FYI: Keeping belly button rings while pregnant is, for lack of a better term, stupid.)

3. Hemorrhoids. (Waaaaah!)

4. Episiotomy and/or tearing. (I realize that I probably won't feel this if and when it happens, but I have this irrational fear that once my bottom half becomes one giant hole, the doctors will tell me that my womanly region is F.U.B.A.R. and I will be forced to wear Depends for the rest of my life.)

5. My first post-delivery dump. (Jenny McCarthy says the pain is comparable to childbirth, if not worse. I suppose this one would be easier if I did, in fact, have one giant hole, but still...I can honestly say that I am more scared of this than I am for the actual labor process.)

6. Developing a bajillion cavities during/after pregnancy. (Apparently "a tooth for every child" is a myth, and babies do not steal calcium from your teeth, but women have reported copious amounts of cavities post-pregnancy, and the idea of me becoming a toothless, crotchless woman makes me cry. I have zero cavities as of late, and would prefer to keep it that way.)

7. Being too weak to hold Mia when she finally joins the world. (Although I am hoping to have an epidural, I am fearful that the combination of medications/long hours of labor will drain me of all strength and energy and I will drop her when they hand her to me.)

8. Losing all, or large patches of my hair after the baby is born. (I am reading more and more about this and freaking myself out. I'm having nightmares of me looking like Hulk Hogan, bald on top with scraggly strands of greasy hair trailing down my back... I suppose this would go well with my hillbilly grill and adult diapers...)

9. My boobs becoming so engorged that I will have to hold my arms out like the kid from Christmas Story. Seriously.

10. Excessive pregnancy rashes. My skin is starting to itch, and I have seen some truly awful pictures of PUPPP.

A Hazy Shade of Winter

2009-01-28T15:07:00.031-05:00

"Ah, seasons change with the scenery
Weaving time in a tapestry...
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter." -Simon and Garfunkel

In honor of the snow day, I'm serving up a hefty helping of warm and fuzzy blog topics. The Soup de Jour? How does the four seasons and future family bonding sound? As winter weather warnings sweep the tri-state, I have no choice but to stay in and fiddle on my laptop. (This is when looking like a bag lady in my ratty pajamas works to my advantage and I break into a rousing rendition of "Its a Hard-Knock Life." You know, the classic number from the musical, Annie, NOT Jay-Z's version?) It's almost four in the afternoon and I have yet to do anything other than eat and brush my teeth. Although, I suppose I should be proud of myself for even thinking of dental health when I don't plan on seeing anyone for the remainder of the evening. Today's agenda includes watching a new episode of LOST and...that about covers it! Whew! I don't know about you but just thinking about it depletes my battery. I might as well make some hot chocolate, put my feet up and blog it up until J.J. Abrams gives me a reason to turn on my brain.

The surplus of snow and ice has me dreaming about my daughter and the many changes in seasons we will experience together. I love Cincinnati for a number of reasons, one being the evident differences between winter, spring, summer and fall. Other areas of the world have virtually the same weather all year round, which a portion of the population, myself not included, finds alluring. The Midwest, on the other hand, is the role model region for how the seasons should be, matching the corresponding weather with the corresponding time of year. Winter is often a mix of flakes and freezing rain blanketing the ground with just the right amount of snow to be both beautiful and, for the most part, hassle free (this week's storm not included). Spring most often brings a Mayflower full of native flowers, which in turn, brings pollen and other lovable allergens. Summer is, well, summer...welcome for a while, but eventually unbearable for those of us who have one armpit that sweats more than the other (ahem...). Lastly, fall. Ah, fall. My favorite season of all. Leaves changing from green to vibrant reds, yellows and oranges, the crisp, cool air that whispers "football season has begun," and the start of a new school year...What a beautiful idea to have four different seasons. Why wouldn't you want to partake in such an amazing event? God is awesome. So where am I going with this sappy seasonal lecture? For the past few weeks, I have wanted to blog about a few specific activities that Jon and I can't wait to share with Mia. These things just happen to remind me of specific times of year, so I thought I would weave them into this entry.

(Outside my sliding glass door around 11 a.m.)

Jon mentioned the other day that he was really looking forward to taking Mia sledding. Upon hearing this, my soul slipped into "girly mode." My eyes glazed over as I envisioned my soon-to-be husband carrying our little snow bunny up a hill, dragging a little red sled behind them. He said sledding was one of his favorite things to do as a child. Mine was fishing.

My dad taught my cousins and me how to fish from a very young age. Though my relationship with my father is less than ideal as of late, my family and I discuss our summers at the lake frequently, and know that we will always remember the moments we shared baiting hooks and stringing fishing poles. My dad used to say that there was a big mouth bass named Sam living in my grandparent's lake, and that he had cunningly evaded capture for many years. I remember exhausting all of my energy trying to catch this one fish, and when I finally hooked him, I felt like the coolest kid in the world. Jon feels that Mia will be more feminine than me, keeping her distance from night crawlers and fish guts, but I am determined to buy her a Snoopy pole and teach her how to use it. Not that there aren't other means of making your daughter feel special, but deep down, I am desperate to pass on this memory. It's one of those things that is best described as a Kodak moment, a piece of your personal history that you cling to when times are tough...Do you know what I mean? I long to tell her about the legend of Sam, and watch as she cleverly catches that sneaky fish for the first time.:::sigh:::May feels so far away...

The Countdown Continues...

2009-01-27T19:47:00.006-05:00

23 weeks and 4 days. 115 days to go.

Level II Ultrasounds and PregMancy

2009-01-26T22:23:00.019-05:00

Forgive my lack of recent blog posts, I have been fighting the flu and an assortment of other fun infections.

Last week, I visited two different doctors, one of which informed me that Mia's bones measured a little short at the last ultrasound. In my opinion, the most ideal time to relay this kind of information is NOT when my head is one violent sneeze away from popping off and rolling down the hallway, but perhaps other patients enjoy that kind of spontaneity. Bottom line- Mia seems to be doing well, with the exception of three long bones that are 2 weeks behind (femur, humerus and tibia). They recommended that Jon and I come in for a follow-up ultrasound on the 12th of February to assess her growth after a month. I suppose it's a positive sign that they don't want to see us immediately, but the anticipation is killing me. Hopefully the weeks will pass quickly and we can stop stressing and start posting new ultrasound pictures!

The internet is both a blessing and a curse in the sense that you can learn much more than you ever needed, or wanted, to know about any one thing. The memo from my OBGYN said "follow up ultrasound to rule out Skeletal Dysplasia," so, with the best of intentions, I hopped on Firefox to do some research. (Note: If you are pregnant, please, PLEASE, DO NOT attempt to educate yourself on bone disorders via the internet. You will only worry yourself sick.) Everything from Dwarfism to Down Syndrome came up and I am certain, that for a few seconds, my heart must have stopped. To put my mind slightly at ease, I called the hospital to talk with a doctor about how common short measurements are after 20 weeks and the likelihood of something going a wry. They weren't able to tell me much, other than it could be something as little as the way she was laying, or perhaps even an indicator that she has inherited my short stature. Here's hoping...

Speaking of acquiring someone else's traits, Jon has somehow managed to assume some of my pregnancy symptoms. In addition to a few bizarre dreams (including one where he dropped our peanut-size baby and Trent's dog, Toby, ate her...), he has been experiencing some serious heartburn and weight gain. (Note: Consult Jon before joining Nutrisystem. He may have some insight on how to better spend your $660.) I've read a lot online about sympathy pains, and gained a bit of knowledge on the subject by watching episodes of I Love Lucy as a kid. Anyone else remember the episode where Ricky runs out to get his glowing wife her ice cream and sardines and he ends up eating it right along with her? I tried to find a clip on YouTube but failed miserably. The best I could do was this- a funny tidbit from the episode Pregnant Women are Unpredictable.

The Name Game

2009-01-21T21:04:00.008-05:00

Jon and I have decided to make Mia's middle name Shae instead of Elisabeth. Not only is it less common, but it's a family name (spelled Shay). Cute, right? Well, we think so. There you have it. Mia Shae.

[Insert Catchy Blog Title Here]

2009-01-18T21:44:00.005-05:00

All I've got for you today is a picture of the belly @ 22 weeks. I am extra tired this evening, so I'll post something of substance tomorrow night.

More Ultrasound Pictures

2009-01-14T17:07:00.008-05:00

This is my favorite picture of her, thus far. Her nose looks like one of the claymation characters from the Puffs Plus tissue commercials!

Apparently it's a girl! Haha! These ultrasound technicians have some serious skill...

Skeletor.

Her foot, looking quite large like her daddy's. I asked if she had extremely big feet and the tech said no, so hopefully we won't have a newborn with a size 16 shoe.

Meet Mia Elisabeth!

2009-01-13T17:15:00.011-05:00

As I mentioned in a previous blog entry, we weren't supposed to have an ultrasound until the 21st. Well, on Monday, I called and begged the receptionist to see if she could find anything earlier and landed an appointment for this morning at 11:30! Score! Normally, I would have waited, but I start my new job tomorrow and hated the idea of asking off during my first week of work. Luckily, they were able to squeeze us in, and we are overjoyed to introduce you to our beautiful baby girl, Mia Elisabeth! :)
Despite my daily consumption of Mountain Dew and Beefaroni, her heart, brain, kidneys, and other critical parts are developing at the average pace! (Evidently "the Chef" does know what he's doing...) Oh, and despite our last ultrasound, her head is proportionate to her body, which is a relief. The technician asked, "Do big heads run in the family?" Haha! Depending on who you ask, they might say yes. My cousin Katie swears she has the biggest forehead ever to exist on a human being, and I have been told on numerous occasions that I have an abnormally large cranium. I know for a fact that it's twice the size of Jessi's in every picture ever taken of the two of us. Luckily for my little girl, she won't be a walking candy-apple.

It is truly amazing how an ultrasound can tell so much about a baby before she is even born. For instance, the technician was trying to count the number of vessels in the cord and Mia wouldn't let go of it. Even after some light pounding on my stomach, she was reluctant to give in, showing us that she is already stubborn like her mother. In another photo we received, she was talking and kicking up a storm. The tech said "she seems to be throwing a fit in there." Great...

Anyway, she's beautiful and she's ours, and we love her!

The Pro's and Con's of Pregnancy

2009-01-11T22:55:00.010-05:00

Pro's:

-First and foremost, that silly baby which has been baking in your belly.

-Expectant Mothers Parking- What a fantastic perk during pregnancy! Of course, I was parking in these spots long before I was pregnant with the justification that I expected to be a mother someday, but who's paying attention? In fact, when I revealed this information to Jon a few months ago, he was furious with me! Moral of the story: Take full advantage of these parking spaces while you can -OR- don't tell your fiance when you park "illegally." Funny how easy it was for me to find one of those spots before. Now that I'm truly pregnant, I cannot find a space to save my life. Karma.

-Eating a surplus of food and not feeling a pang of guilt. Okay, who am I kidding? I didn't feel the least bit bad about it before...

-Realizing just how much your significant other really loves you. I was under the impression that pregnancy would be the best time of my life, our lives. I had this vision in my head of how I thought things were supposed to be, and I could not have been farther from the truth. Being pregnant, at least for Jon and me, has not been 5 months of sheer bliss. Contrary to popular belief, we don't frolic through the fields, holding hands and singing "We are pretty people who made a pretty baby. We are always happy, despite my moods and acne..." So why do I put this particular blurb in the pro's section? Because its time like these that challenge your relationships and your love for each other. I am certain that I have been a savage beast for the last 21 weeks, and I can only hope that this is the height of my selfishness. Jon has exhibited an unbelievable amount of patience and his ability to tolerate me during this time in our lives shows me how much he truly loves me. (Thank you, honey.)

Con's:

-Becoming your worst version of yourself, or someone else entirely.

-A gag reflex with a mind of it's own.I had what I thought was a fairly strong stomach. Now that I'm pregnant, it seems that everything makes me throw up! (Even after the first trimester, the smell of dog food or the thought of Sloppy Joe's makes me want to ralph!)

I may have more to add to this blog at a later date. For now, I'd say I've pretty much covered everything.

Baby Product Poll

2009-01-11T19:30:00.011-05:00

As you know, I've been doing some research on Yahoo answers and other social networks to figure out what baby items are must-have's and which ones are complete crap. Interestingly enough, I have found that a diaper changing table falls under the "waste of money" category! I can't believe how many people share this opinion! (Way to go, Amanda!) I have so much to learn! Anyway, I figured I would merge the many posts I've come across in my surfing, and share what products parents found to be a Godsend, and which ones were a no-go. Obviously everyone is different, but these items were mentioned the most.

Must-Have's (Keep in mind, I did not include a crib, regular carseat, bottles, first aid/grooming items or disposable diapers.)

-Lots of bibs! (Double the number you think you'll need)
-Onesies and sleepers that zip or button so that you don't have to pull the baby's clothes over his/her head.
-Multi-Use pads in case the baby leaks at night. You may not feel like doing a load of sheets every day, or perhaps you don't have access to a washer/dryer in your apartment.
-Travel System (Personally, I have heard that Chicco and Graco are the best brands. Although I liked the Eddie Bauer ones, I have been told by multiple people that they are quite difficult to fit in your vehicle.)
-Swing
-Boppy Pillow
-Swaddle Blanket
-A&D Diaper Cream (My experience in daycare has taught me that this is the best cream on the market. Any cream that has a scent is like spraying perfume on your baby's sore butt, so stay away from the ones with a fragrance.)
-Mirror for the car
-Bouncy Seat (Yes, Amanda, the bouncy chair made it to the must list)
-Cloth diapers to be used as burp cloths, comfort blankets, cleaning rags, etc.
-Those little plastic containers that dispense the formula, not sure what they're called.

Unnecessary Items
-Changing table (Apparently its a lot less expensive to buy a changing pad and stick it on top of a dresser unit. What if I don't have an extra dresser unit? Well, evidently that's not a problem either! People seemed to agree that a changing table just becomes another space on which to pile stuff. The baby can, and will, be changed anywhere and everywhere, so just buy a pad and use it as necessary.)
-Bassinet (No one seemed to have anything positive to say about these)
-Baby Monitor (Really?! I suppose it depends on the size of your home)
-Bottle Warmer
-Bottle Sterilizer (This one was listed quite often as a useless product, but I've been told by friends that it is important so the baby doesn't get thrush later._
-Bumbo chair (Despite my desire for one of these, I think I might delete it from my registry. A lot of people have said that the baby can only fit in it for a short amount of time, making it virtually useless.)
-Wipe Warmer

Products that Proved to Be Both Great and Useless (received an equal number of positive and negative feedback)

-Diaper Genie (I'll be honest, I really want one of these. My experience in babysitting has lead me to believe that they are VERY helpful, but I could be misinformed. What do you think?)
-Pack n Play (I don't care what people say, we WILL have one of these.)
-Baby Bathtub (I'm not sure how I feel about this being a "take it or leave it" item...)

More to come, I hope. I'm still gathering information. Feel free to offer feedback.

"That's How I Roll"

2009-01-11T00:29:00.014-05:00

Jon and I began to build our registries via the internet last night. We signed up for an assortment of items that can be found at Babies R Us and/or Target. All items are around $50 or less, since the majority of our friends are either newly married, also expecting or have a new baby at home. Although we do not want family and friends to feel obligated to purchase these items, we are also aware that there are people out there who want to buy us things regardless of what we say, so here are some ideas, necessities, etc. Once we find out the sex of the baby, we will go in and add a few things that are gender specific. For now, the wish list is made up mainly of bottles, bibs, diapers, etc. Feel free to explore and/or make suggestions of things we might have missed. I have received feedback from friends about the must-have's and unnecessary items, but welcome even more input if you're feeling up to it.

While we're on the subject of must-have's, Jon and I purchased our travel system this week! (When I say Jon AND I, I really mean just Jon, since he's the one with the credit card...) We have been researching different stroller/car seat combos for sometime, and finally settled on a Graco MetroLite. I can only hope we are just as happy with it once the baby arrives.
Oh! How I wish I could locate my BeDazzler, so I can bling it up with rhinestones and studs.

Questions, comments, complaints?

Does this diet include Chef Boyardee?

2009-01-09T19:29:00.011-05:00

I forgot to mention that I met with the dietitian yesterday at the doctor's office. The nurse came in and announced in an overly chipper tone, "The dietitian is here! He wants to meet with you and make sure you're right on track!" Whaaaaat? Dietitian?! Right on track?! Should I mention that I had spaghetti for breakfast?! The pressure was ON and beads of sweat were forming on my mustache. (Ahem, did I say mustache? I meant my...my...smooth as a baby's butt, glowing, pregnant lady skin...) "What did you have for dinner last night? Are you eating your vegetables? How much caffeine are you consuming?" AH! I don't remember what I was doing five minutes ago, how am I supposed to remember what I had to eat the day before? I know one thing, SpongeBob HealthyPants, and that is this: I like Chef Boyardee more than any normal human being should, and that probably isn't what you want to hear.

Just in case someone would like to refer back to my blog for information on healthy eating habits (not normally recommended), I posted the info from the dietitian below.

The Daily Food Guide for Pregnant Women

3-4 servings of milk and milk products

2-3 servings of meat or meat substitutes

4 or more servings of vegetables

3 or more servings of fruit

5 or more servings of bread and cereals

Include a vitamin C source everyday such as oranges, grapefruit, strawberries, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, etc.

Include a vitamin A source 3-4 times a week such as carrots, spinach, dark leafy greens

64 oz. of water daily

Hope this is helpful. If nothing else, it will remind you of what a failure you are, assuming you're expecting and have a sweet tooth.

Junk in the Trunk-And Not the Good Kind

2009-01-09T13:25:00.017-05:00

This is a less humorous, but still informative blog for those of you who are interested. I have a lot to report in regards to my doctor's appointment yesterday, touching upon topics such as our first ultrasound experience (woot!), and for the most loyal of readers, my extreme constipation (extra woot!).

Due to Jon's week of vacation from work, he was able to accompany me to the appointment. I appreciated his presence and support, especially when I started to sweat profusely and needed an extra paper sheet on which to sit. (Is there a reason they keep those rooms so warm? In the first fifteen minutes of waiting on the doctor, I had already produced a decent sized butt print and ripped a large hole in the paper. So embarrassing...) The good news is that second paper sheet was able to hold me over until the end of the visit. (Do yourself a favor, ladies, double up on the paper sheets. You'll definitely need more than one, even if you're not the Sweathog that I am..."Welcome back, Mr. Kot-tair.") The bad news is I'm extremely constipated, or so says the doc. I know that constipation is common, but I had no idea you could have bowel movements and still be considered "backed up." Jon laughed because her emphasis on the word "extremely" made it sound like I haven't dropped the kids off at the pool since 1991. "Seriously? I didn't think I was having that much trouble..." Jon might have also suggested that I take a stool softener because "getting the giant rod out of my ass might improve my mood." Haha! (I'll kill you!)

Aside from that, things seem to be progressing pretty well. Although we weren't supposed to have an ultrasound until the 21st, the doctor was able to turn on the machine for us and just give us a glimpse of our big-headed baby-do. She wasn't an ultrasound technician, so she couldn't focus in on anything or check to see the sex (unless, of course, it had been very obvious), BUT we were able to see his/her little heart beating and his/her little arms and legs. Oh yeah, and his/her gigantic noggin, which it obviously gained from me. What an incredible experience! We were both in awe over it, and so thankful to the doctor for allowing us to see our baby two weeks early. When she first placed "the thing" on my stomach (I don't know the proper name for the ultrasound remote like instrument), the baby was laying on it's back sucking it's thumb! It was the cutest thing, and just plain crazy that they can even do that this early! Then, when the doctor started moving "the thing" around, the baby turned away, flipped over, and did this funny frog thing with it's legs. The best way for me to describe it is to tell you to think of a swimmer pushing off the side of a pool 3 times in a row. Ba-doop, ba-doop, ba-doop. It was like a little jig, and it made me laugh. It's even crazier how they can do that so early, make us laugh I mean. Needless to say, the baby was camera shy and refused to show us his/her private parts. Probably a good sign...Better luck next time, right? Two more weeks of waiting...argh!

In addition to having a healthy babe and an impacted colon, the doctor also informed me that I have Group B Strep, a bacteria that is harmless to adults, but needs treatment during pregnancy. (It is NOT an STD). If treated appropriately, GBS is, for the most part, not a concern. However, undetected and untreated, GBS can be fatal to newborns. The doctor did not seem to make a big deal about it. She only informed me that I would have an extra IV during labor to help protect the baby. I'm hoping this is all that is necessary and it does not pose additional problems throughout my pregnancy or labor.

Well, that's all I've got in terms of updates. The next appointment is on the 21st, after which I will hastily type out a blog about the sex of the baby and such! Check back soon!

Chew Softly and Carry a Big Stick

2009-01-05T22:01:00.017-05:00

"Can't he just praise me for being a fertility goddess and tell me how well I'm handling this whole pregnancy thing even though that is completely untrue?"

A recent conversation with a good friend prompted me to ask others (men and women) for their pregnancy advice. This particular batch of information should used as a resource for expectant fathers.

From women to men:

"Don't question our decisions when it comes to food, sleep or sex."

"Some women have wonderful pregnancies with nerry a hitch, but for the men of those women who truly despise the "joy" of pregnancy:
-Do let her splurge a little on maternity clothes even if you're short on cash, you should figure out a way that works. She may feel terrible that she can't fit in her old clothes anymore.
-Don't make comments about the things she wants to eat or drink, unless they are truly dangerous to her or the baby (like alcohol). Even if it's something you hate or think sounds disgusting, maybe try "that's interesting."
-Do keep your hands to yourself. You may find her ravishing but the last thing she wants is for you to touch her. You may say "my woman would never feel that way. We're so close." She will.
-Don't say anything negative. Actually, don't say anything at all. But then she'll say you never talk anymore b/c you don't love her so...maybe you should take the beating for talking. Also, make sure you chew your food as quietly as possible and for God's sake, don't breathe!"

"All men should be given a yard stick and a roll of duct tape, that way they will know to stay 3 feet away and keep their mouths shut."

From men to other men:

"Be patient.....all the time....no matter what....under NO circumstance lose patience....never."

"When you go to the hospital, make sure you wear thermal underwear, because even if it's 100 degrees outside, she'll have it at about -2...oh and NO dozing! If you fall asleep, she may make sure you never wake up!"

"Shut Up, Honky!" and Other Fun Phrases to Teach Your Fetus

2009-01-05T14:06:00.025-05:00

I've spent a lot of time pondering just the right words to describe what it's like to feel your baby moving around inside you. The past week has been chock full of fetal movement, and we could not be more thrilled! I cannot believe how little time it takes for a baby's kicks to become stronger. A month ago, I might have argued the existence of a baby growing in my belly. Other than my horrendous mood swings, I had nothing to convince me (or anyone else) that I was I was anything other than an angry ogre of a woman. Last week, I started feeling what I characterized as "flicking." (Unfortunately, Jon was unable to feel it since the extra "insulation" around my middle was acting as a shock absorber.) Four days into my 20th week however, his/her presence is undeniable! The "flicks" have graduated to clear kicks, and Jon can feel nearly every jolt and jab from our baby boy or girl. It is simply WILD the way he/she moves about in such a confined space. Sometimes it's almost as if he/she is doing somersaults! I hope that she is satisfied with her sub-leased studio apartment in my uterus.
Spacious or not, I suppose Moose (my new nickname for the baby, by way of Amanda) will only have to put up with crowded quarters for, at most, 20 more weeks. You can rest assure that Little Bit won't be in there any longer than absolutely necessary. Not if I have anything to say about it anyway. Come to think of it, I would probably prefer a C-section...

I posted the picture of The Jefferson's because, after referring to my womb as an apartment, I was reminded of a blog I read a while back on almostadad.com. He rewrote the lyrics to the famous theme song so he could sing it to his unborn son. (I did that once with Don McLean's, American Pie, but mine was completely unrelated to pregnancy and/or birth, so I decided to spare you and post his instead.)

Well he's a movin' on down, (movin' on down),
To the south side
through a deluxe compartment, in her thi-i-ighs.

He's a movin' on down,
To the south side,
He finally gets to see to whats outside.

Gotta get past the cervix,
Down through that birth canal
Takes a whole lot of tryin'
Just to come join this world

Now we're waitin' for our child,
Just can't wait for that.
As long as we live, it's you and me baby,
There ain't nothin' wrong with that.

Well he's a movin' on down, (movin' on down),
To the south side
through a deluxe compartment, in her thi-i-ighs.

Have fun getting that tune out of your head. ;) I had a heck of a time, which is why I was singing it nonstop all afternoon. The best part was that the baby was bouncing around in sync. As I topped off my solo with a resounding "Shut Up, Honky," the baby gave me a swift kick in the stomach. Jon says he/she did it because he thinks his mother is a freak and needs to be on medication. Perhaps he's right...

Pregnancy According to Jon

2009-01-04T15:37:00.021-05:00

Here are a few recent quotes from the man I'm going to marry. As expected, they are in regards to our pregnancy. Jon is a funny, funny man. Well, most of the time...

"I am not your enemy! Stop making me your enemy!"

(Standing at arms length, handing over a peace offering of Bagel Bites) "Emily, have you ever fed a crocodile? They have been known to take off an arm!

(This picture is not far off from how he looked on New Years Eve...seriously.)

Me: If you were giving advice to men everywhere about pregnancy, what would you say?
Jon: Wear a condom or keep a hoagie on you in case she gets hungry.

Me: I'm sore.
Jon: Me too.
Me: Why are you sore?
Jon: From my vasectomy.

The Fickle Minded Mother-to-Be

2009-01-04T14:30:00.013-05:00

Are you ready for an entry that's not related to decorating? I know I am. How 'bout one that involves a new song for your iTunes pregnancy playlist?

The other night, Jon and I heard Katy Perry's, Hot N Cold on Q102. After listening to the lyrics, he is convinced that she wrote this song about a pregnant friend instead of an ex-boyfriend. I would have to agree.

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah, you PMS like a bitch
I would know

And you always think
Always speak cryptically
I should know
That you're no good for me

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

We used to be just like twins, so in sync
The same energy now's a dead battery
Used to laugh 'bout nothing
Now you're plain boring
I should know
That you're not gonna change

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bipolar
Stuck on a rollercoaster
Can't get off this ride...

How is it that she knows me so well?

Other updates:
Here is the belly at 20 weeks. Just 20 more to go, right? I have a doctor's appointment coming up on the 8th, at which I plan to schedule my ultrasound! The office can't pencil me in until my doctor submits a request for one, so let's hope that is a quick and painless process. We are getting incredibly anxious to find out whether this active little bean is a boy or a girl.

I promise to write a more entertaining blog soon. I have a list of topics saved on my cell phone, all I need is something to follow the opening sentence. Keep checking back. I may have new material by later tonight.

More Ch-Changes Than David Bowie

2009-01-02T17:54:00.023-05:00

A second trip to IKEA caused me change my mind, again, about the nursery theme. I'm driving Jon crazy with my daily indecision, but I can't help it. The stuff we bought on Tuesday (minus the crib) can be returned, and the new bedding and accessories can be purchased for nearly the same price. My most recent ideas include the following:

I'm not sure if you can tell by the picture, but the bedding has elephants on it. There are light colors like blue, green, red, and pink in it.

This bumper pad has the red checked trim, and blue, green, and red polka dots on the rest of it.

I know there's a lot of blue in this set, but I think it would work for a boy or a girl.

I've never been one for canopies, but I really like this one.

And last but not least, the cute elephant blankie-

How 'bout it?

Update: Several hours later, I still like the elephants...

Gas Station Hot Dogs and Other Classy Cravings

2008-12-30T23:07:00.041-05:00

Maybe the definition of white trash is a pregnant woman choosing to chow down on a good gas station hot dog instead of some trendy soy snack. Maybe knowing which Mapco makes the best sandwiches is not as high on the list of prize winning parenting advice as one would hope. And maybe, just maybe, I happen to like Cheez Whiz and country music a million times more than I did before I was expecting. Amidst all of the "maybe's" though, one thing is for certain: I am one ring-watch and a wife-beater away from being deemed a redneck, and I'm at peace with it. Pregnancy does weird things to a woman, or so I'd like to think. Perhaps I've always been a bumpkin and never really realized it 'til now. Either way, the signs of a backwoods woman are beginning to surface, and it won't be long before they mulitiply like two rabbits that just got out of prison. For example, I've found myself feverishly scrolling through radio stations to find that blue ribbon Brooks and Dunn hit, "My Maria" or Randy Travis' "Three Wooden Crosses." (I have NEVER liked Randy Travis, believe me.) On Monday, I ate an entire can of sour cream and onion Pringles while sitting in bed at 11 o'clock at night. Last night, I polished off nearly 20 pepperoni and cheese Bagel Bites as Jon and I sat on the couch waiting for the baby to kick. (FYI: The best time to feel for fetal movement is NOT following a large, greasy meal...) Better yet, I bought my first pair of maternity pants today and after about seven seconds in the dressing room, I made the executive decision to never wear normal pants again. I honestly have no idea how I lived this long without knowing the luxury of the sweat-pant/dress-pant hybrid. I'm actually a bit concerned that friends and family will have to intervene five years from now, forcing me in to the latest fashions and out of my trusty, and very tattered, pregnancy pants. As I sit here writing this, I'm weighing the pro's and con's of appearing on What Not to Wear for all of America to see...Would I be willing to sacrifice my pride for months, maybe even years, of complete comfort...Hmm...Maybe...I'd say it's a definite possibility.

Girls Don't Poop, We Just Name Our Babies After It

2008-12-29T21:30:00.012-05:00

Like most first time moms, I am flat-out petrified of pooping on the table during delivery. Sorry? Whats that? Everyone does it? Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry to say that does not make me feel better. I am well aware that doctors and nurses alike have experienced their fair share of fecal matter, but the thought of my "labor log" topping the charts as the worst pregnancy poop of all time really freaks me out. I mean seriously, what could be worse than a room full of excrement experts pegging my pushing-induced dump as the greatest achievement in bowel movement history?! Nothing, that's what. Nothing could be worse...except, perhaps, naming my newborn after a form of feces itself. Yep. You heard right. I found this little gem in the blog archives of a labor and delivery nurse. For more entertaining entries, including that of a young woman who wanted her boyfriend and pimp present for the birth, visit http://www.itsababynotbrainsurgery.blogspot.com.

"Award Winning Baby Name

Sometimes I am sorry I asked.

Meconium Phoenix (Phoenix was probably spelled Fenyx but whatever)

For those of you that don't know:

Meconium- is the first stool of an infant, composed of materials ingested during the time the infant spends in the uterus: Intestinal epithelial cells, lanugo, mucus, amniotic fluid, bile, and water."

The Inevitable Pregnancy Survey

2008-12-29T13:07:00.015-05:00

About the mommy!
Name: Emily
Age: 24
Hair color: Blonde
Eye color: Green
First child?: YES!

About the daddy!
Name: Jon
Age: 27
Hair color: Very dark with a tinge of red!
Eye color: Jon says hazel. Definitely hazel.
First child?: YES!

Finding out!!
What day did you find out?: Around my birthday (September 14)
How did you feel when you found out?: Beyond ecstatic!
Who was with you?: No one
Who was the first person you told?: Jon!
How did they react?: Disbelief and pure excitement!
How did the daddy react?: See above

Telling the grandparents!
How did your parents react?: Mom was surprisingly calm and accepting. Dad was speechless and trying to be supportive...
How did his parents react?: Slightly disappointed but supportive nonetheless.
Are they helping with baby names?: We didn't ask for help with baby names. Haha.
Have they bought anything for the baby yet?: They haven't given us baby stuff yet, but his parents gave me money for Christmas and I am using it to help pay off my credit cards before the baby arrives.
How often do they call to check on you?: Not often.

About the pregnancy!
When was your first appointment?: November 4
When is your due date?: May 22 2009
How far along are you?: 19 weeks!
Pre-pregnancy weight?: 142
Weight now?: 140 (I lost a lot of weight when I cut back on my Mountain Dew, then gained a few lbs back...I'm getting there...)
Have you had any ultrasounds?: sadly, no.
Have you heard the heartbeat?: YES! It was beautiful!
What was the heartbeat?: around 160! very strong!

Sex of the baby!
Are you finding out the sex or will you wait until birth?: definitely not waiting...we have to wait a few more weeks for the ultrasound!
What do you want?: Either a boy or a girl. As long as its one of those, we'll be very pleased!
What does the daddy want?: Jon would love a boy, but he has a sneaky suspicion that the baby is a girl.
If you have kids, what do they want?: NA
What do you think you are having?: I'm not entirely convinced that we're having a girl, but that's what people are saying, so, I'm beginning to think "Shim" is a female.
Have you had your big ultrasound yet?: No, soon!
If so, what are you having?: Ahh! Quit rubbing it in!
If you have kids, are they happy with the sex of the new baby?: n/a
Are you & daddy happy with what you are having?: We're happy we're having a baby in general!

About the birth!
Do you know what you are taking with you?: I suppose we'll consult the checklist printed in every pregnancy book, as well as lots of snacks.
Who is going to be with you?: My amazing fiance.
Are you going to videotape it?: We haven't really talked about this-I'm thinking I won't want to be videotaped, but perhaps I'll change my mind.
Natural or medicated?: Medicated, for sure. Overly medicated if possible.
Do you think you will need a c-section?: Not sure, maybe.
Will you cry with you hold your baby for the first time?: Probably. Will others be able to differentiate between the sweat dripping off my face and my tears of joy- I don't know.
Do you think the daddy will cry?: I think there's a chance he might. He is more excited than any father has ever been, or so it seems. :)
Do you know what you will say to the baby when you first hold him/her?: "Hiiii Babyyyy." After that? Lots of incessant, drug induced rambling about how perfect he/she is and how I promise to be the best mom. (anyone who has ever been around me when there is a baby on TV or within the vicinity knows my response...)

Names!!
Do you have a name picked out?: YES
Girl names...: Mia Elisabeth
Boy names...: Cade Michael
Is your baby going to be named after someone?: No

Other random questions!!
Where was your baby conceived?: Conceived...that involves sex, right? Man, that was ages ago...Haha. Jon's apartment.
Have you felt the baby move?: YES! Just felt it for the first time yesterday!
What race(s) will your baby be? The palest of races, Jon and I are the whitest people you have ever met.
Do you have stretch marks yet?: A few, but those are not from the baby. Gain, lose. Gain, lose...
What was your first symptom?: I actually took a test before I had any symptoms because we figured it might happen. The next symptom was sore breasticles.
Will your baby have godparents?: Um, thats another thing I haven't really thought about...
Who will the god mommy be?: n/a
Who will the god daddy be?: n/a
What is the baby's room theme?: Jon would say the theme is inexpensive and functional. I say IKEA's quirky animal prints and bright colors.
What was the first thing you bought for the baby?: Onesies, hats, socks...
If you already have kids, how do you think they will adjust to the new baby?: NA
Will you cloth diaper?: Are you insane?
BFing or formula?: Formula
What is your favorite pregnancy book?: Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy
What do you look forward to doing again once you are no longer pregnant?: Hmm...having a conversation without getting unnecessarily moody.
What features do you hope the baby will get from daddy?: His gentle spirit, financial wisdom, willingness to help others, grin and laugh
What features do you hope the baby will get from you?: my eyes (i really like the color, sorry if that's conceited), my sarcasm and outgoing personality
Is he ready to be a daddy?: yes, he will make a fantastic father
Are you ready to be a mommy?: I'd like to think so, yes!

:::Grow, Baby, Grow:::

2008-12-28T14:54:00.006-05:00

19 weeks and finally starting to gain weight. The belly is beginning to take shape, thanks to Amanda's "grow, baby, grow!" ceremonial chants.

"I like to move it, move it..."

2008-12-28T12:18:00.022-05:00

After 18 weeks of waiting, I FINALLY felt the baby move! I started my 19th week on Friday, and was beginning to worry that I hadn't felt so much as a flutter over the last 4 1/2 months. The past few days, I have felt what I thought may be the baby, but I wasn't entirely sure. I've read a lot about women experiencing a butterfly sensation, or what feels like popcorn popping in your lower abdomen, but I hadn't felt anything definite enough to say with complete confidence "Yes, Virginia, there IS a baby!" This morning however, as I stretched and rubbed my stomach, I felt a clear kick into the palm of my hand! Wow! (Assuming our baby is developing on schedule, and he/she is only 5-6 inches from crown to rump, the "kick" was more of a flick, but it was something, and that's all that matters!) Ah, what a relief to know that I am, in fact, still pregnant, and that things are progressing at a fairly normal rate.

Ever since this morning, the baby has been flipping and flopping like a little Olympic gymnast. As expected, I am loving the harmless pokes and prods of a still very small fetus. I visited the Babycenter website before work, and this was the visual they provided as to what our child supposedly looks like at this stage in the game. I chuckled and said to myself, "If our baby looks like that, its because Jon does Pilates. I can't even sneeze without pulling a muscle." I've never seen an ultrasound from my extended stay in the womb, but I assure you I did not look like this. Flexibility is not my forte.

The most recent movements in my belly have me thinking a lot more about the baby's personality and what he or she will take from me, gain from Jon, and what traits will be exclusively unique to him or her alone. I'm going to blissfully assume that since he/she kicked while I was watching Band of Brothers, he will inherit my love for history, and beg me to watch documentaries instead of Dora, the Explorer. Hey, I can dream, right? It would also seem that baby is a big fan of chocolate milk. I don't normally drink it, but I had some with breakfast, and ever since, Shim, (as Jon calls the baby-a combination of She and Him) has been "flicking" like crazy. (Dear Baby, please note that the act of "flicking" is only acceptable while you are a fetus and/or newborn. Flicking of any other kind, especially that of which involves a specific finger, will land you in the doghouse fo shizzle.) The chocolate milk observation could mean any number of things, one of which might be that Shim is female. You know women and their chocolate...Jon seems to think that we are, indeed, having a girl. He has felt strongly about this from the moment we found out we were pregnant. Both Jon's dad, and my friend Amanda seem to share his theory. I suppose we'll find out soon enough...

We seem to be set on Mia Elisabeth for a girl, and Cade Michael for a boy. The only name, in Jon's opinion, that could replace Mia is Chuck, and that is definitely NOT happening. Now, if we could just find out for sure about the sex, we can stop saying "it," "Shim" and everything else that is gender neutral.

Emily Goes Ape Over Everything, Deli Meat Not Excluded

2008-12-22T22:38:00.010-05:00

Amanda and Tyler seemed to get such a kick out of my most recent meltdown(s), that I decided to share more of the "pregnancy crazies" with the masses. This is my best attempt at recreating the $#!& storm that was last Sunday.

9 a.m.- Jon puts in a call to his sleeping beauty, or beast, whichever you find to be the most fitting...

(Emily and Jon chat happily about their individual night's rest and the day to come) "Blah, blah...I love you too, blah..."

9:20 a.m.- Emily asks Jon if she can call him back.

10:45 a.m.- Emily calls Jon back- Jon does not answer.

10:55 a.m.- Emily calls again. No answer.

11:00 a.m.- Emily calls a third time. No answer. She turns an unbecoming shade of green and hastily types out a pissy text message about being ignored.

12:00 p.m.- Emily calls again, just to be extra annoying. Jon finally answers and reveals that he is at the deli counter and would prefer to call me back. Emily becomes bitter that Jon can eat deli meat in peace without someone warning him that he might get listeria and hangs up.

1:00 p.m.- Emily cries because she knows she is a pregnant monster.

Is that lunch meat mocking me?!

Due to my pregnancy amnesia, I seem to have forgotten the other incidents about which I wanted to blog. Either way, the lunch meat story does an excellent job at highlighting my insanity.

New Direction for the Nursery...?

2008-12-20T13:42:00.009-05:00

Due to a limited budget, I'm thinking we're going to do most of our shopping (nursery wise) at IKEA. Everything baby related is reasonably priced, and if we purchase bed linens from there, we can actually bring home more than one set of sheets. The best part is that most of the textiles are created with similar color schemes, so we can always mix and match when the baby inevitably soils them.

I'm growing rather fond of the colors on this set of sheets. I think the pale blue would make a nice wall color and a Dr. Seuss quote (in a darker blue, or perhaps the green) might add a little something special without making the room overstimulating.

...You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
Oh the places you'll go...

(The animals on the sheets are running and leaping...I thought that was fitting .)

Here are a few of the inexpensive accesories that go with these bed linens. I don't want to go overboard, but I can hardly resist a rug for $12.99.

Mobile for $7.99!!!

Comments? Suggestions?

Pause for a Picture

2008-12-16T15:23:00.004-05:00

Quick pic of the belly @ 16 weeks.

That is all.

Sweet Dreams of Nursery Themes

2008-12-10T20:49:00.013-05:00

Recently I've been searching for baby bedding that is both affordable and fun. My top choices are as follows:

1. The "All You Need Is Love" collection by Bananafish. I admit, the picture is a little over-stimulating, but I've been visualizing a white crib, this bedding, and four canvas paintings of, let's say, a guitar, peace sign, flower and heart. Assuming we have a little girl, I think this idea is pretty darn cute.

2. The "Pop Monkey" collection from Babies R Us. Personally, I feel that this could work for either a boy or a girl. It's a fairly simple design, with neutral green and brown tones. Those of you who know me, know I wouldn't go hog wild with ALL the matching accessories, but the bedding and diaper table stuff is adorable.

3. There are also plenty of inexpensive crib sets at IKEA. When I say inexpensive, I'm talkin' 5-piece bed linen collections for $12.99. This may be a good option, considering most collections contain a variety of primary colors (reds, blues, yellows) that can easily be matched with random sheet sets from other stores. I'm sure we'll be changing bed stuff a lot throughout the first few months, and I'm not sure spending a great deal of money on a "fancy" comforter would be the best decision. It's still up for debate, of course.

So far, those are my favorites. Any comments?

He'll Make a Fine 1st Husband

2008-12-03T16:46:00.028-05:00

Your dad proposed to me last night, little one! Apparently he's tried to ask me to marry him several times before, but your mother couldn't make it because of the morning sickness or some other symptom. Well, they say third time's a charm! Although, I do not know how reliable the source. I have no idea who "they" are, or if any of them have ever been married. Either way, I'm pleased to inform you that Operation: Pop the Question went off without a hitch, and I, without hesitation, agreed to spend the rest of my life with him.

When I first walked into your dad's apartment last night, he said "You know I love you, right?" and I responded "Why? What did you do?!" You see, baby of mine, your mother is an avid fan of food. Not just a fan, but possibly the biggest fan of food ever to exist, and she thought daddy was going to say he ate all of her mashed potatoes. (Now, my passion for proteins and carbohydrates of all sorts has multiplied by a million since I've been pregnant, so there's a slight chance that I might have resorted to some unsavory methods of communication had he polished off the potatoes before I arrived. This is when I tell you I was wrong in thinking this way, and that violence is NOT the answer.) I was gearing up to karate chop him in the mouth when he got down on one knee, presented me with the most beautiful ring ever (see below) and asked me to be his wife. Radiating romance, as I normally do (sarcastic face), I very confidently stated that he would make a fine first husband and then hugged and kissed him for an undetermined amount of time. :) (Aw, are you embarrassed by your parents' PDA? I suppose its a blessing then that your baby friends can't read. In fact, the only friend you have, who's actually been on the "outside," is Jamie, and he likes kissing. Wait...erase that sentence from your brain-and note that you will never, EVER be in the basement together...alone...assuming you're a girl...or gay...Not that there's anything wrong with that...)

Overall, it was a lovely evening, and I think you will thank me for saying "yes."

I've included a picture of the ring, and one of your good friend Jamie, who is much too adorable to be allowed in your room.

Meredith Brooks & Other Justifications for Being a Bitch

2008-11-30T09:39:00.018-05:00

As you probably guessed by the title of this blog, the hormonal roller coaster is in full working order. Its been running steadily for weeks now, and if you dare, you can come along for the ride, assuming you don't sit too close, breathe too loudly, or do anything else that I might find annoying. What's that? Maybe next time? Well, okay, but the invitation is always open...

I admit, I have been pretty unpleasant these past few months. It pains me to even entertain the notion that I might be anything other than "super peppy pregnant girl," but alas, its true. The "bitch switch" is flipped to the "on" position nearly 24 hours a day, and there isn't anything anyone can do about it. In the midst of my mood swings (or just SWING, singular) I have been searching for proof that I'm not the only person on the planet responding to pregnancy this way. Better yet, if I could just find someone who is a significantly bigger bitch, I would feel infinitely better about myself and this hormonal hell I'm forcing others to endure.

Here are a few excerpts from a humorous (and informative) blog I came across in my search for other moody women with child. Witty blogger, Bill, uses his writing to inform other expectant fathers about the pregnancy unexpected, like mood swings, nutrition, mood swings...I encourage you to give it a gander. I laughed out loud with every article, maybe because he's funny, or maybe because I finally felt justified...Either way, you should check it out. (www.almostadad.blogspot.com)

Taken from a survey Almost a Dad conducted on Yahoo answers, regarding why women yell at the fathers of their children-

When I was pregnant, I was irritated by my husband because of:
Everything he says
The way he acts
The way he breathes
They way he walks across a room.

Him breathing...no seriously (It was right about the time I finished reading this sentence that I threw my arms up in the air and did a little victory dance...)

In my case it wasn't hormonal.......He was just an A**hole. :)

Visit his website for more great quotes and advice.

I mentioned Meredith Brooks because I awoke this morning humming her 1997 hit "Bitch." After looking up the lyrics, I am convinced that this is my pregnancy theme song. Agree or disagree? (Not that you would tell me if you were in disagreement with something I said...good thinking...probably in your best interest...)

I hate the world today
Your so good to me, I know
But I cant change
Tried to tell you but you looked at me like maybe Im an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how youd be so confused
I dont envy you
Im a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

Im a bitch
Im a lover
Im a child
Im a mother
Im a sinner
Im a saint
I do not feel ashamed
Im your hell
Im you dream
Im nothing in between
You know you wouldnt want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean youll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And Im going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today wont mean a thing

Okay, well, I can't promise that tomorrow will be different, but I can promise it will end eventually...Maybe not until May, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Pour la pomme de mes yeux

2008-11-27T20:17:00.021-05:00

Last night, as I was shamelessly surfing the Internet for parent-to-be blogs, I came across this touching collection of letters written by a first time father to his unborn baby (www.pumpkindiary.blogspot.com). For reasons unbeknownst to me, I hadn't yet thought of blogging to our fetus, only about it. The original intention of the Jemily Rosenfout chronicles was to document the "baking" process, after which I figured all free time would cease and, in turn, so would the blog. It would seem, however, after some intense cyber- stalking of this daddy diary, that I can hardly resist the urge to speak to our little shrimp via the World Wide Web. I rather like the idea of communicating with my child as if he were an adult. The freedom to share some useful (and perhaps not so useful) advice with him so early in the game and still have those pages to look back on later in life is kind of exciting! That being said, I present to you my first set of written words pour la pomme de mes yeux (for the apple of my eye).

No doubt, my sweet, you will have plenty of time to get to know your parents over the course of our lives together. There are many things you will learn to love about us, and other things, that right about the time you turn 12, you will find totally humiliating. I can promise you, little lovebucket, that your mother WILL embarrass you at some point in your life (OMG!), and that it will most likely happen daily during your teenage years. For that, I apologize in advance. I can also promise you that your father is the best this world has to offer, and that, although I cannot keep a plant alive, I will love you, unconditionally, until every star in this vast sky has fizzled out and disappeared.

So what else, besides years of embarrassment and unfailing love, do we have to offer? Well, sweet pea, you will be pleased to know that aside from just generally being "the best," your dad might also be the most reasonable human being on the planet. I'm telling you now, you should probably approach him first with any wild requests because he will actually humor you with weighing the pro's and con's, whereas I will most likely cut you off mid-sentence with a "You must be nuts if you think I'd let you go to Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate 8th grade graduation." It will not take you long to learn that he is an amazing listener with sound advice and a gentle spirit. (He really does have a gentle spirit, despite the fact that he punched the pastor's kid in the face many moons ago...) In fact, as I am writing this, I am reminded of a Bible verse found in the book of James.

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." -James 1:19

Your father is a prime example of this verse. I sincerely hope that you inherit his ability to listen and speak to others with the compassion and love that God intended. Along the way, I pray that you, and your saint of a father, can teach me how to be a better listener. (Psht, don't you dare tell him that I even remotely hinted at the fact that I need any sort of improvements. I almost have him believing that I am completely flawless, inside and out.)

Jon, the man you will soon know as your dad, will teach you what it means to be a man (if, indeed, you are a male). If you happen to be female, he will teach you how to avoid persons of the opposite sex entirely. In all seriousness, my love, it would serve you well to follow his lead. Although you may not believe me until you are older, he knows how to navigate his way around this foreign place we call Earth, and you will be the incredible individual I know you will become largely because of him. I can't wait for you to meet him. You cannot, and will not understand the depth of his love for you. That is, until you have children of your own, which will be an eternity from now.

As for me, I have been thinking a lot lately about what I hope you will gain from your mother. There is something you should know, and that is I have wanted you for as long as I can remember. You were a sizable part of my life long before you were conceived, and a lot of the things I have done in my young life have been with you in mind. As you grow, you will see for yourself that there are some activities in which you may be tempted to become involved that can either help you or hurt you. When I was younger, people wanted me to participate in things (like smoking, drinking, drugs) that I chose not to be a part of because I wanted to someday be able to tell you that you don't have to do those things to have friends. (If you are anything like me, you probably already know that, but I thought I'd say it anyway.) My purpose behind this little history lesson is this: Whatever you choose to do, or perhaps abstain from, be confident in your reason(s) for doing it. Stand your ground. Do not waiver in your reasoning. If there is ever a time when you find yourself unsure, do yourself a favor and sleep on it. That is my first piece of motherly advice. Fortunately, you are too tiny to tell me that I am completely lame. ;)

I love you.

Love,
Your very cool mom

...And the heartbeat goes on...

2008-11-15T13:27:00.011-05:00

After a month long hiatus from the blogosphere, I return with news of a healthy heartbeat! Two weeks ago, Jon and I had our first prenatal appointment. Not so surprisingly enough, I had been stressing about a number of pregnancy related complications in the weeks leading up the visit (no heartbeat, empty sac, etc.). The internet yields a ridiculous number of results on the subject of pregnancy, and my daily websurfing has led me to believe that miscarriages are a lot more common than I ever imagined. Needless to say, confirmation of a healthy pregnancy could not come soon enough. As expected, November 4th eventually rolled around. Time moved at a snail's pace, but alas, the clock finally read 2:45 p.m.. Jon joined me at the doctor's office, although I made him wait in the waiting room for almost an hour while my OBGYN performed the not-so-glamorous feminine procedures like a pap smear and such. (I believe Jon was slightly bitter about this, but I didn't see a reason for him to be there for the all girly business. I had the nurse call him in before we heard the heartbeat. Does this make me an insensitive partner? I hadn't intended for it to seem that way...) Anyway, the doctor used the doppler to find the heartbeat, and as Jon so perfectly phrased it, it was the most memorable moment of our lives to date. The rapid pounding of that tiny heart melted ours to slush in a matter of seconds. It was truly amazing. It was so strong, so real. We fell in love all over again, with each other, with our baby...

As I enter into my thirteenth week, Jon and I are faced with the decisions about whether or not to take part in certain tests. Medical science has come a long way, and doctors can now screen your unborn baby for genetic disorders such as Downs Syndrome. Jon and I both have relatives with special needs, so it would seem that screening for genetic disorders might be in our best interest. The problem however, is that some of these procedures carry a risk of miscarriage. For example, 1 in 400 pregnancies end in miscarriage as a result of amniocentisis. For some of you, that may not seem like much of a risk, but to me, those numbers are everything. The more we talk about it, the less interested we become in the multitude of invasive testing. After all, Jon and I will love this baby regardless of whether or not he/she is born with a special need. I believe that some mothers have the testing done so that they can better educate themselves on a condition that their children may be born with, but I also feel that people requests the tests to decide whether or not they should terminate their pregnancy. Jon and I have no interest in terminating our pregnancy, so anything that could possibly result in the death of our little one seems too high a risk, right?

Last but not least, I thought I'd post my first few belly pictures. The first was taken at 8 weeks, and the second at 12. Stay tuned.

You+Me+Baby Makes 3...4...5...?

2008-10-11T14:46:00.024-04:00

As we prepare for the arrival of our first child, Jon and I contemplate the adoption of our second. I'm not sure if my award winning performance as Pregnant Psycho Chick has him thinking more in depth about how to add our family by alternative means (just kidding...I think), or if Jon really has wanted to adopt for some time, but the bottom line is- we're talking about it! We are well aware that the process can take years to complete, and feel that the best time to get the ball rolling is shortly after the birth of baby #1. Of course, our feelings could change come May when we meet our precious gift, but as of now, we're thinking Baby F could use a sibling within two years of his/her debut. Legally, I believe we both have to be at least 25 years of age, so we have no choice but to wait until September 14th 2009 (my 25th!) to do so much as submit an application. Seeing as I'm only eight weeks along with our first child, we have plenty of time before we have to make any kind of decision regarding baby #2, but the topic's on the table regardless.

As far as our current family is concerned, we are thriving! On September 29th, I started a new job with Cincinnati Early Learning Centers as the Infant Coordinator in training. Although I am quite accustomed to working with children, this is the first time I've worked primarily with infants. When I interviewed for the job, I was totally unaware that I was pregnant. I was praying for a position as a preschool teacher and found myself slightly disappointed when the only opening with decent pay was in the infant room. (Not that I don't like babies, but four year olds are just so darn funny!) Long story short, I accepted the job in hopes that it would eventually feel more like a teaching position and less like babysitting. Well, it turns out it is A LOT like babysitting, but God is good nonetheless! I am confident that He is using this particular placement to help prepare me for our little life, giving me one opportunity after another to learn the secrets of motherhood before he/she enters this world. Despite my complaints, I am SO blessed! (I realize that my daycare job is cake compared to Jon's daily battle at Hertz, but sometimes I forget how easy my life has been and I groan about rush hour traffic.)

While I am still feeling A-OK, I am also working weekends. My previous employer, a company which provides in home care for elderly patients, has given me the go-ahead to continue as a caregiver on both Saturdays and Sundays. This is SUCH a blessing, as it allows for some extra cash. (It comes in handy when I spot that perfect purse, right babe? Just kidding!)

As I said earlier, I'm chugging along at eight weeks and feeling pretty good. (The picture above is of an eight week old embryo. Not unlike most new mothers, I've become obsessed with reading about how the baby is developing and what he or she looks like with each passing day...) Not to say I haven't had my moments, but in comparison to other women, things seem to be going swimmingly. So far, I've only had one day of morning sickness (keeping fingers crossed) and some back pain. (I had NO IDEA that something the size of a kidney bean could cause such crippling muscle cramps! Any tips on how one can ease the "twisted pretzel" feeling? I'm sure it will only get worse, so I would LOVE some input.)

Well, I'm going to be optimistic here and say that I need to go watch the Bengals beat the Jets...Who-Dey!

Smooth Sailing

2008-10-04T16:25:00.012-04:00

My former roommate once told me that women rarely receive a false positive on a home pregnancy test. False negatives can result from any number of things, ranging from low levels of hormones to less than reliable digital "dip-sticks." However, if you have been blessed with that promising little plus sign, you either have a bun in the oven or you've been unknowingly chowing down on cheeseburgers laced with hCG. (In my case, Jon made me wait five days after my expected period before taking another test to ensure that we were truly expecting, and that my body wasn't contaminated with pregnant cow hormones. I'm not sure if that is even possible, but I'll eat just about anything, so I wasn't willing to rule it out completely.) Five days later, another positive test confirmed the existence of our little bean! :) We couldn't be more thrilled! Jon and I share a passion for many things, but our love for children and desire for a family is, without a doubt, at the top of our list. There is nothing in this world that we want more than to raise a family and envelop our children in unconditional love and encouragement. As I mentioned in my last blog, Jon and I had already broached the topic of marriage and family and were completely committed to each other prior to this pregnancy. Needless to say, we were overjoyed to discover that we are having a child together!

So far, the past few weeks have been smooth sailing (knock on wood). My friend Amanda knew that she was pregnant almost immediately due to SEVERE morning sickness. In fact, she was physically ill all day, everyday, for her entire pregnancy, even during labor. I am currently in my seventh week and have yet to pray to the porcelain gods, but I'm expecting a wave, or tropical storm of nausea any day now. Honestly, I feel pretty much the same as before I was pregnant, minus the fatigue, moodiness and insatiable appetite. Okay fine, the insatiable appetite isn't new...so what?! Can you hear the irritability in my voice? Unfortunately for Jon, and everyone else, the increase in hormones has made me a little irritable. Well, "a little" is an understatement. Jon has already witnessed multiple visits from "Psycho Chick." Those of you who have read Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy know what I'm talking about. Those of you who haven't read it but are pregnant, have been pregnant or spent more than five minutes with someone who is can make an educated guess as to what McCarthy was referring. As much as I hate to admit it, PC has already made an appearance (or two) and I FEAR for my boyfriend as we move closer and closer to the birth of our child. I can't say I wasn't warned. After informing Amanda that I was knocked up, she told me that Jon would soon become the most annoying person on Earth. I laughed in disbelief and assumed that Amanda only felt that way about her husband because she had the most horrible 40 weeks in the history of pregnancy. I was wrong. Nearly two months in, everyone and everything makes me want to rip my hair out. Of course, Jon does a lot of it on purpose because he finds my reactions highly entertaining, but some of it is just every day stuff that I never paid much attention to before, like the ringing of a phone or...I don't know...BREATHING. No joke. The other night, Jon and I were just watching T.V. and I shot him the most evil look ever.

Emily: "What are you doing?!"
Jon: "What do you mean? I'm not doing anything."
Emily: "Why do you keep making that noise?!"
Jon: "What noise? I'm just breathing!"
Emily: "Well, you're breathing weird, and loud, and it's annoying!"
(...Cue laughter, though clearly not from me...)
Emily: "Stop laughing! Its not funny. Its irritating!"
Jon: (still laughing) "I'm not going to want more children after this, am I?"
Emily: (eyes welling up with tears after her boyfriend insinuates she is being moody and may not want anymore children because of it) "I can't believe you just said that!"
Jon: "Babe, I'm just kidding. I love you and I'm sorry that I have to breathe."

It helps when they apologize, doesn't it? Even if its over something totally ridiculous like breathing. Thank you, honey, for apologizing to your hormonal girlfriend for simply trying to stay alive. Your sacrifices do not go unnoticed. I love you.
-

Dropping an Anchor

2008-09-27T13:41:00.007-04:00

When Jon and I first began talking about the future, he used the term "dropping an anchor" to describe his intentions for our relationship. At the time, I didn't read too much into it. All I knew was he hadn't given the ol' "Its not you, its me" speech and that was something about which to sing! It wasn't until a few days later that I thought more in depth about what it really means to "drop an anchor." Dictionary.com defines an anchor as "a person or thing that can be relied on for support, stability, or security; mainstay." Now, I don't know about you, but I love that my boyfriend made any association at all with words such as support, stability and security when referring to our "togetherness." :::Sigh::: Surely I have found the most sensitive and understanding male on the planet! (I'm fairly certain he did not consult a dictionary before having that conversation with me, so I might be giving him too much credit here...However, I like to think that he had similar thoughts regarding the subject, right honey?) What he was relaying to me was that the choices we make as a couple may affect the rest of our lives. Whatever we decided to do from here on out could bind us together forever. Was I ready for this? Were WE ready for this? Ready for FOREVER?

To "drop anchor" is defined as "to anchor a vessel." The visual I had when pondering these words, not so surprisingly enough, was of a boat, bobbing up and down in the middle of an endless ocean. I'm not sure how I feel about being a boat, but what can you do? Anyway, back to the story. So say I'm this boat. For my entire adult life thus far, which I'm aware has not been very long in the grand scheme of things, I've just been floating along in this vast sea. I'm not necessarily alone, because I don't feel lonely or frightened, but I cannot see any other boats in the vicinity. Day after day, I just continue to drift towards the horizon with no real sense of where I'm going or what's to come. Then, out of no where, comes another boat, who offers me an anchor. He wants to tie our structures together, soak up the sun and relish in the beauty that is life, WITH ME! Could this be true? I no longer have to drift aimlessly (and seemingly alone) in a giant sea of the unknown?! Is there really someone out there who truly desires to be my sense of support, stability and security...MY MAINSTAY? :::Sigh again::: YES! There IS someone out there who wishes to be that person in my life! What a relief! The best part is, I want to be that person for him as well. I can't say that I won't fail at something in the years to come (that takes courage to say, believe me), but I hope that he is reminded on a daily basis that, for as long as I am living, I will stand beside him.

I cannot express how thankful I am that Jon has such a firm grasp on communication. His "drop an anchor" analogy has been implanted in my brain for eternity and has proven to be such a perfect description of what it means to really enter into a relationship, or what it should mean anyway. The truth is, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have holding my hand as I face this enormous Earth and what it has in store for my future. Its a good thing too, because we're having a baby!!! :::Grin:::